From: snippe@prl.philips.nl (Snippe DM) Subject: Re: You know when you're hacking too long when... aki@cruzio.santa-cruz.ca.us writes: BTW Have you been using Latex too long when your (handwritten) letters include things like \begin{verbatim} ? I recently did that when writing a letter that included a newspaper article. Also, when I write algorithms for other people (like the algorithm to bake a cake, or how to find my house), I don't write first do this and than do that, but: do_this(); do_that(); It used to be even worse after I had written some Occam programs, lots of nested SEQ's and PAR's. Make Pizza: SEQ mix flour and salt add water, oil and yeast mold this into an elastic dough. PAR slice tomatoes slice pepperoni slice mushrooms slice onions make tomato sauce convert dough into pizza put tomato sauce on pizza PAR put tomatoes on pizza put pepperoni on pizza put mushrooms on pizza put onions on pizza ALT put olives on pizza put anchovis on pizza put blue cheese on pizza put mozzarella on pizza put pizza in oven ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: aldavi01@starbase.spd.louisville.edu (Arlie Davis) Subject: You know you've been using X too long... I dreamed two nights ago that I had found the man pages on the world, and in them was a list of the widget hierarchy of everything I could see. I though, "Wow! Now I don't have to live with the developer's *terrible* taste in colors anymore!", and prompty decided to make the rivers a deep red, and the skies shades of grey, by thinking "*River*background: #FF0000" and "*Sky*background: #808080". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mcastro@iris-dcp.es you know you've been hacking too long when you go to bed, start to sleep, and suddenly the little voices inside your head said: you have running jobs $ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: robm@void.ncsa.uiuc.edu (Rob McCool) My alarm went off this morning, I hit the snooze bar, and when it went off again, I hit it again, and made a mental note that I could not do this much longer because my subroutine was mallocing memory (in the clock) each time it went off and printing the free memory on the front, and soon I would run out. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: djd@csg.cs.reading.ac.uk (David Dawkins) I had a similar experience while writing up my third year project. I was looking through my sports bag for my toothbrush one evening after a heavy day, when I found myself momentarily confused - some part of me was trying to do '/toothbrush' ! (search in vi text editor) I guess loads of people (huh, make that 'Unix' people) want to use grep while looking something up in a book... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: espensk@stud.cs.uit.no (Espen Skoglund) Subject: You also know you've been hacking too long when... ..... you're doing your math and suddenly finds yourself writing: add.b #1,n ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: lowen@lorc.UUCP (Lamar Owen) Subject: Re: You know when you're hacking too long when... When my alarm goes off in the morning (5:15AM!!!), I keep wanting to press the Decrement Program Counter switch on the frontpanel. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: stirling@ozrout.uucp (Stirling Westrup) Subject: Re: Hacking too long! Last evening, while cleaning up my desk, waiting for one stage of a large make to finish, I managed to stab myself under my thumbnail on a sharp piece of sheet metal. The sheet metal is an integral part of my desk, and was most likely put there to serve exactly the purpose it was serviing, ie. maiming me. Anyway, in intense pain, and with blood spurting out of my thumb, I started to make a dash for the bathroom, to find something to bind my wounds with. After a few steps I stopped, went back and hit RETURN on my terminal, so that the next stage of the make could progress while I was bleeding to death in the bathroom. Its a bad sign folks, even when in pain, I do my best to multitask... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: pv@gagme.chi.il.us (Paul Vader) Subject: You know you've been reading news too long when... ....you see a jar of Motts Applesauce and wonder what the third sex is. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: okes@essex.ac.uk (Oke S) Subject: Re: hacking too long This morning I was wondering if some friends of mine were in and I thought 'finger @3, Hamilton Road'... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: dave@eram.esi.COM.AU (Dave Horsfall) Subject: Re: You know you've been hacking too long... After fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialling an IP number... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: gregn@coombs.anu.edu.au (Gregory Newton) Subject: Re: You know you've been playing computer games too long when... Last year in a period where i had just done a series of hideous assignments in C and C++ (set by a couple of less than reasonable lecturers) I had one night where I dreamed I was parsing C code. I would go through a piece of C code and was taking in what it all meant and it's structure. The piece of code in question had a lot of #includes in funny places and I had to retreive the relevant file and parse it before i went back to the original ... ... well it so happened that I reached a #include for which the corresponding file was missing - there was nothing to do but abort compilation - I woke up. I got the dream another five times that night waking up for each of them. I was quite worried about it at the time. Dreams like that just are not good signs. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: gbarnes@nyx.cs.du.edu (Gary Barnes) Subject: YKYBHTLW You know you've been hacking too long, when you look at an internal telephone extension number 2444 and immediately try to work out what permissions that represents! (and then wonder why it's sgid!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: whughes@lonestar.utsa.edu (William W. Hughes) Subject: Hacking too long... I don't consider myself to be exceptionally skilled in computers, but I have done my share of hardware and software work. To date, however, I have never experienced anything that indicated that I had been doing this too much. This has now changed. Today was a very busy day at work, and I was tired when I got home. I parked my carcass in my recliner, turned on the TV with the remote, and promptly fell asleep. When I woke up, the first thing I did was reach for my 'keyboard' to check my system log and find out how long I was out. I gotta take a vacation... :-) St. Dismas' Infirmary for the Incurably Informed [Disclaimer: UTSA doesn't know what I said -- don't blame them!] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: zongker@cps.msu.edu (Douglas E Zongker) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: List of 'Hacking Too Long' ...when your writing a letter to your grandmother by hand and putting semicolons at the end of each line. | douglas zongker; zongker@cps.msu.edu, zongkerd@clvax1.cl.msu.edu | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: MJMUISE@1302.watstar.uwaterloo.ca (Mike Muise) Subject: Re: List of 'Hacking Too Long' Or how about: I was messing with the innards of my PC, and after, many hours of fiddling, realized that the problem was considerably worse than when I had started, and I wasn't sure I could undo all my hard 'work'. So I reflexively thought, "No problem, I'll just restore it from backups." sigh. | Mike Muise | mjmuise@1302.watstar.uwaterloo.ca | Reality awaits you ... | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: masc0374@ucsnews.sdsu.edu (Avoid normal situations.) Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: List of 'Hacking Too Long' You know you've been hacking too long when you have a nightmare in which you have an endless printout in which you are frantically searching for the errors in the program. (Yes, this actually happened to me. *blush*) Love & kisses, The Stainless Steel Moviegoer ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jdg41088@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Pickaxe) Subject: Re: List of 'Hacking Too Long' When you're playing Hearts, you pick up your hand, start to sort your cards and realize you're doing it with a bubble sort! I actually thought for a moment to try an insertion sort but slapped myself before it was too late. | Joe Gross | Department of Electrical and Computer Engineering | | pickaxe@uiuc.edu | University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ccog1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Colin Blair (Mr) Coghill ) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL when... Last night I had a horrible dream that I was trapped in a large dungeon full of nasty creatures that all wanted to eat me. The worst thing was that it was all in NETHACK text graphics. I was being chased down this corridor by a bunch of &s and Ds, and I just knew that if I didn't find an %, I'd wake up/die. I think I'll leave off the Nethack for a while. Although I dunno... I'm dreading the day I start dreaming in shell script. It was bad enough when I used to dream in BASIC. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: joe@montebello.soest.hawaii.edu (Joe Dellinger) Subject: Re: List of 'Hacking Too Long' You know you've been hacking too long when you run your programs in your sleep, find a bug, wake up, and RUN to log into the computer to FIX the bug RIGHT AWAY... And your dream-simulation was 100% accurate! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: thomas@bitrot.in-berlin.de (Thomas Driemeyer) Subject: Re: You know you've been playing computer games too long when... Did you know that you can take control of a dream? First, you have to practice realizing that you are dreaming. This can be done by checking whether you are dreaming or not whenever you notice anything even slightly unusual, and make an honest attempt of waking up (visualize yourself in bed etc). After a while, these checks become automatic, and will appear in your dreams. Only now, the check will return TRUE. You have to catch the wake-up in limbo - don't open your eyes, which would kill -9 the dream, but stay detached enough to debug parameters you are unhappy with. Then, resume the process by letting go. You can do the most amazing things that way, including context-switching to a totally different dream. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: faught@convex.com (Danny R. Faught) Subject: Re: Dreaming Unix. Yesterday my wife and I were semi-conscious and snuggling in bed. My hand wandered to a sensitive area and I wondered, "Do I have read permission?" No? Darn! Can I su root? Doubtful. :-( Don't even think about execute permission :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: wilson@inf.ufrgs.br (Wilson Roberto Afonso) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL when... You know you've been hacking too long when, watching a new car comercial on TV, you see that in the back of the car it's written, say, "Versailles 2.0i", and you not only read it as "Versailles 2.01", but you also think "Wow ! A completelly new model, and they're already in version 2.01 !". Happened to me, and I only got it two days after, when I started talking about this to somebody else. While I was talking, I understood what I had done, so I was able to pretend I was joking... * - The 'i' in 2.0i stands, of course, for 'Eletronic Fuel Injection' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: chambles@whale.st.usm.edu (John William Chambless) Subject: re: YKYBHTL YKYBHTL When: people are talking to you while you're trying to work, and you think, "mesg n". you send email to somebody who's three terminals down the lab. you send your girlfriend notes like: while !(together(you,me)) miss(you); ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mark-r@spec0.ee.man.ac.uk (Mark Robinson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW.. The other day I was replying by hand to a letter, when I suddenly realised I'd written out huge chunks of the original letter, with a greater than symbol at the start of each line. Even worse, instead of realising my mistake, I thought I'd best edit this a bit or I'll get flamed for including too much of the original post!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: bmh@terminus.ericsson.se (Bernard Hatt) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.. You know you've been programming with Xlib too long, when you leave the building at night and say "XGoodNight" to the security guard! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: chambles@whale.st.usm.edu (John William Chambless) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: more YKYBHTL YKYBH in unix too long when: before you call someone on the phone, you think: 'finger joe@his.house' when, after exiting a program on a DOS machine, you automatically try to check mail. your first reaction to the above is that mail is down you try to ^Z out of Quattro you decide to stay in school...just to keep your Internet account! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: weisberg@ee.rochester.edu (Jeff Weisberg) Subject: Re: YNYB... Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers dave%gilly@quack.kfu.com said: | | My last alarm-clock delusion was trying to figure out what username | it was running under, so I could look at its crontab file to see when | it was going to ring... My alarm clock is a board I built and hooked up to my Sun, it runs under my own username, and _is_ controlled by cron. When I used to use a "stanard alarm clock", when it went off in the morning, I would just turn it off and fall back asleep. Now, since it is controlled by software, its a bit smarter, and won't let me fall back alseep. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: bmb1021@ultb.isc.rit.edu (B.M. Buck) Subject: Re: YNYB... Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers I used to program my IBM PC to make hideous noises to wake me up. I also made the conscious decision to hard-code the alarm time into the program, so as to make it more difficult for me to reset it. After I realised that I was routinely getting up, editing the source file, recompiling the program and rerunning it for 15 minutes extra sleep, before going back top bed, I gave up and made the alarm time a command-line option. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: eigenstr@cs.rose-hulman.edu (Todd R. Eigenschink) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YNYB... I saw a friend who works in the computing center from whom I had borrowed an ethernet tee. I said something like, "Oh, shoot, I have to give that back to you." Without even thinking, he responded, "Just email it to me." I was about to ask if I should compress it, but thought better of it. :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: peter@NeoSoft.com (Peter da Silva) Subject: Re: YNYBHTL dreams Let's see. I once dreamed I couldn't get into the bathroom because I'd broken the device driver for the door. I once dreamed I couldn't open my eyes because I'd broken the device driver for my eyelids. That was particularly irritating, because I couldn't fix the code because I couldn't open my eyes! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: nmehl@ccat.sas.upenn.edu (Nathan J. Mehl) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... You know you've been hacking too long when, while taking notes in a class, you begin to /*COMMENT OUT*/ the sections where the professor is going on a silly digression. (The really scary thing is that, in my case, "too long" means about two months of trying to teach myself C. Says something for either my high impressability, or just my general lack of sleep lately.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: weisberg@ee.rochester.edu (Jeff Weisberg) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... nmehl@ccat.sas.upenn.edu said: | You know you've been hacking too long when, while taking notes in a class, | you begin to /*COMMENT OUT*/ the sections where the professor is going on | a silly digression. I usually take my notes in a troff style. I comment things with \" and often "center" text using .ce (recall: this is pencil and paper). In one class the prof would put this one drawing on the board rather often-- ".so system-std.pic". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: v37262d@kaira.hut.fi (Mancko H|glund) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... In article <1993Jun3.062039.24102@newsgate.sps.mot.com> ttg242@newton.sps.mot.com writes: >You know you've been hacking too long when, while taking notes in a class, Or picking up the phone and answering with the the program statement you're about to enter into your code. You can almost hear the ????'s coming over the lines (unless, of course, the caller is another programmer, and a quick-witted one at that). ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: hucke@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (OS/2 addict) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... In article <1uqlec$k92@uniwa.uwa.edu.au> andreww@uniwa.uwa.edu.au (Andrew Williams) writes: ) )And then theres the morning I [thinking about an upcoming house move], )decided that a simple solution was to borrow an exabyte drive from uni )and tar and compress the house contents, and restore it at the new )address. I even remember worrying about whether tar would create the )destination rooms properly if I specified absolute pathnames... That thought had occured to me as well... needing to move my possessions to another apartment, the first idea that came to mind was "PKZIP"... everything would weigh less, and fit in one suitcase... then I realized I would have to leave my '386 uncompressed so that it could unzip everything else... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: m91nen@tdb.uu.se (Nils Engstrom) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Reminds me of a very strange dream I had just the other day: I don't remember the beginning, but I found myself waiting for a bus with two packets of breakfast cereal in one hand. (I have no idea why.) Somehow it was very difficult to catch a bus, but eventually one stopped. Oddly enough, it was the same bus and driver that just drove past, and I could still see it leaving... I got on the bus, and the driver asked me a a question, whether I was in a hurry or somesuch. I was then beginning to realize, that things were not quite in order... *Poof* Suddenly, I'm in Emacs, editing the Makefile for my dream! I even edited a few lines before waking up, but I can no longer recall its contents. n "Be careful not to screw up the terminating condition when you dream recursively!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: delusion@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Albert Schmezer) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... ... when you get your high school Senior Class yearbook photo taken with your favorite IBM-PC keyboard... Couldn't get the yearbook photo people to include the whole CPU, had to settle for a picture with the keyboard in my hands, kinda guitar style... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: bayko@mercury.cs.uregina.ca (John Bayko) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: You know you've been using vi too long... This just happened - I finished editing a program, and wanted to move the mouse pointer down to the window just below... "jjjjjjj" Didn't work. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: majcher@acsu.buffalo.edu (Murali) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... >This was the second time I had a dream in a dream. Does >this happen to any one else? Constantly. I seem to keep having these dreams where I'm dreaming and I wake up and so on and etc...but even _better_ are the computer/internet dreams. The ones where, for an hour or so before I wake up, I'm somehow logged into EtherNet :), reading all my mail and news, and replying to things...and then I wake up. (Then I have to come to work and _really_ do all those things...) I wonder if anybody ever gets those messages...? Of course, then there was the time when I was out dancing till six or seven in the morning, went to bed, and woke up around two in the afternoon...later that night, my then-SO said something about me being logged on earlier that morning...apparently, around 10AM, I had gotten out of bed, made myself breakfast, and logged on! I immediately went to check, and yep, I had been on for about an hour that morning, _while_I_was_still_asleep_! So, fearing the worst, I checked my .history file, and sure enough, I _had_ sent mail to people...eek. Couldn't tell who, though, so I had to send out some more preemptive (or would that be postemptive?) letters, explaining that I had been sleepwalking the 'net, and any email that they had gotten from me that was lewd, obnoxious, or otherwise unrestrained, was a result of my somnetulation...(and boy was _she_ surprised to hear that...) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: adam@owlnet.rice.edu (Adam Justin Thornton) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... I wanted to turn off my alarm clock this morning, but I couldn't find it. So I tried to shut off *, figuring that would get it. I guess globbing wasn't turned on. Could have been worse. I suppose shutting off * could be construed as 'kill -9 1' which would have been, er, unpleasant. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: andyh@syma.sussex.ac.uk (Andy Holyer) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW.... ... when you discover something that's happened in you own office *after* you've read about it on Usenet. My Co-worker just had his hair cut this afternoon. He then got involved in a ramble about the length of his hair. I hadn't looked round!!! I found out about it from the net!! Help!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ab401@freenet.carleton.ca (Paul Tomblin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... faught@convex.com (Danny R. Faught) writes: >As an addendum to the "have you ever sent email to someone at the next >terminal" idea - It has been difficult lately to get the attention of >my officemate because he listens to a walkman most of the day. He >suggested that I send him email. I suggested that I could just >throw my Koosh(tm) at him until I get his attention. It's so much >more personal :-) Yes, but email is a maskable interrupt. I prefer not to be given an NMI for anything less severe than "there's been another bomb scare[*]" or "If you don't answer my question, I'm going to be sitting here twiddling my thumbs for hours" (And in the latter case, you had better have thorooughly considered some alternatives) [*] - It's a real pain in the ass sharing a building with the Quebec government construction union during a lock-out. Strikes in Quebec are played hardball. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: davidb@nero.ce.washington.edu (David W. Barts) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW: In article , kodak@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Jason 'KodaK' Balicki) writes: > I was driving today and saw the sign "^ Purdue Univ." and I immeditely > interpeted it as "Purdue Unix". A little later I went back by it and > remembered what I had interpeted it as. I looked at it again to see > what made me think that was an "x" at the end. Then next thing that > went through my mind was "Bang Purdue Univ." You think that's bad! I was driving back home along I-90 this afternoon and caught myself decoding license plate numbers as if they were TECO command strings. David Barts N5JRN UW Civil Engineering, FX-10 davidb@ce.washington.edu Seattle, WA 98195 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: cq377@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (David C. Williss) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: You know you've been using Unix too long... I saw a billboard for a new radio station in Lincoln, Nebraska, called KMEM (1480 AM). I found myself wondering if you had to be logged in as "root" to listen to it or if it would be enough to have a radio oned by root with the SUID bit set. -Dave Williss ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ard@siva.bris.ac.uk (PDP11 Hacker .....) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW You know you've been hacking too long when your computer system receives a 21st birthday card from someone in the USA. Seriously, I received a birthday card this morning addressed to : Malard c/o A.R.Duell -tony ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: dave@gilly.UUCP Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW YKYBHTLW: You introduce yourself to a human as "at" , and then suddenly remember - yes, I *do* have a real name... Dave Fischer (dave%gilly@speedway.net) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: corcoran@dewey.icd.teradyne.com (Travis Corcoran) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... ...you're at your workstation with your Discman, you hit [PLAY] on the discman, and the damn thing starts at track 1, completely skipping track 0. After hitting [STOP] and [PLAY] a few more times, it dawns on you... TJIC (Travis J.I. Corcoran) Corcoran@ICD.teradyne.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: bittle@niktow.canisius.edu (Jason Bittle) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Post Office (was: You know you've been programming too long) Got one better for y'all.. I work at Canisius College, and am always on the Unix machines, on usenet too.. One day, one of my friends from Case Western Reserve U. asked me to send him some documentation of a project I am working on, via Snail-mail, which wouldn't have been that bad if he didn't call me at 4:30pm, with the mail room closing at 5. (all this occured on a Friday, nonetheless.) So, while I scurried about getting the docs ready, and preparing the envelople, I scribbled what I thought was the correct address on the envelope. Stuffed the docs in, stamped it and dropped it off to the mailroom on the way out, in a hurry, thinking that I had a job well done. Well, it turns out that I saw that same envelope on Monday morning, on my desk, with a note attached from the mail room saying that they didn't understand the address on the envelope. Only after staring at it for a good 5 minutes did I see my mistake to: On the envelope, I had written: Mr. Adam Lambert aml4@po.cwru.edu and left it at that. I felt so embarrased ;-) ciao, Jason Bittle (bittle@canisius.edu) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sdm91r@ecs.soton.ac.uk (Stuart Maclean) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW as I did last week, you leave work with a couple of floppies, get in your car, and instinctively put a floppy straight into your car cassette player. Oh dear! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: faught@convex.com (Danny R. Faught) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Collected works? Date: Thu, 26 Aug 1993 19:07:28 GMT When I was recovering from my operation, still under the influence of the anesthesia, I spent most of my time in the debugger trying to find kernel bugs. I guess I never figured out that the problem was in the hardware. It was the closest I've come to a nightmare in a long time. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: cs92njc@brunel.ac.uk (Nik Clayton) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Collected works? Date: Thu, 26 Aug 1993 22:24:11 GMT ... after a hectic session programming sockets, you collapse asleep. You then spend 15 minutes trying to wake up, but your gethostname() function is blocking, so you don't know who you are, so you can't wake up... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: zevans@nyx.cs.du.edu (Zack Evans) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Collected works? Date: Sat, 28 Aug 93 01:15:21 GMT Just remembered another one - I wanted to phone someone but didn't know if they were in, so I wondered if I could finger them first... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sonix@schunix.dmc.com (Duane Morin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Now I *KNOW* I been hacking too long Date: 28 Aug 93 22:23:30 GMT Last night, I'm in a conversation on a VERY non-computer related topic, when my friend makes the statement that, let's just say, given adequate access to the entire female body, one would certainly spend more time in certain areas than others. (There, I did that so as to offend as few people as I could.) Anyway. It happened that my girlfriend was also part of this conversation. At this statement, my brain did something of the following: I created a topographical data structure representing the surface area of her body, broke it up into roughly equivalent area, and sorted them according to priority. Someone should take my computer away. And, with stuff like THAT happening, it'll probably be her! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ins559n@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (Andrew Bulhak) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL (an ongoing thread) Date: Sun, 5 Sep 1993 15:06:47 GMT Today I went to McDonalds for lunch; since it was a pleasantly warm day, the restaurant was full of customers, and there were several long queues and not enough attendants. The first thing that came to my mind was whether this McD, being a multiprocessor situation, implements the bakery algorighm for scheduling. After some minutes in the queue, I observed that the load averages must be astronomical..... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: khchung@hydra.maths.unsw.EDU.AU () Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Mon, 6 Sep 1993 01:21:22 GMT This one happened to me last month. At that stage, I had just acquired this account, and was looking through directories to find out what was on the system, so that I could set up my windows manager to suit me... I was reading this form I had which had "... parents/guardian/next of kin ..." and I thought, "gee, that's a lot of levels of ..." when I caught myself. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: dave@gilly.UUCP Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKWYBHTL ... Date: Thu, 23 Sep 93 21:48:27 EDT rkroll%cmptech.uucp@csn.org (Russell Kroll) writes: >.... your dog is named "Kludge", in this case pronounced (klooj) or a cat named "0x1B"? Which is interesting, since non-hackers automaticly call it "0x", while hackers automaticly call it "1B". Heh heh. [0x1B is the ASCII code for [ESC], so the cat is named Escape. -AF] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: kraft@nic.gac.edu (Steven Kraft) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKWYBHTL ... Date: 26 Aug 1993 05:28:28 GMT I've collected many of these together into one coherent listing and I haven't posted it yet, so this seems like a good time do it. I think I got most of the typos out. I've been thinking of formatting it nicely with LaTex, so I haven't worked too hard on making this version perfect. Here it is, about 15kb worth, share and enjoy: You know you've been hacking too long when... ...you're looking for your hilighter and you think: find . -pen HiLiter -print ...your SO asks you where you want to eat on a friday night and you want to: cat yellowpages | grep pizza | grep carryout | more ...you want more coffee and you think: finger waiter; cat *coffee* | grep -v decaff | drink | more ...you're hacking on a project late at night, you are trying to get at some munchies, and you are having problems opening them (fingers stay in keyboard mode) and you think: Finger: Error, cannot open chocolate_bar. ...you're doing laundry, and you think: touch * make clean ...you start dreaming code. ...you regularly sit up and stare at your (ringing (loudly!)) alarm clock thinking, "I can't shut it off because if I do the error message will scroll off the screen and then I won't be able to figure out what went wrong." Other times you scrabble around looking for the mouse to click on the alarm clock window to focus input so that you can enter the snooze button keypress. ...a friend asks you what you're going to do later and you answer: cd $HOME; mkbed; sleep 28800 ...you almost get hit by a bus that pulled away from the stop without looking and you say: PANIC: bus error ...you are looking at an ASCII core dump of your OS project which has many O's and &'s in it (among other things), and you shout: "I see the problem. Orcs are attacking my demons." ...you order pie a-la-mode and a friend asks "What mode?", to which you answer: 1755 (sticky bit). ...you go to lunch and there are no forks at the cafeteria, to which you exclaim: fork(): no more processes ...your friends send you to the refrigerator to get an imported beer, but you can't find an opener, so you report: bottle: cannot open, opener: not found ...you wonder why you can't just go: sleep 28800& and go on with your hacking? ...you stop by the grocery store on your way home, and write your check out in hex. ...you wish you could study for an exam by executing the command: cat civ100 | tee brain ...you're reading from paper media and when you finish the page you press the spacebar. ...you start dreaming in Tetris and trying to rearrange the furniture so it all fits neatly against one wall. ...you test a program, and it fails, so you jump into the editor, look at it, jump out, recompile and test (without making changes) and it still doesn't work, so you jump ........ and it still doesn't work ...... recompile without any changes........ ...you complain in the supermarket about your change and find out you computed it in hex. ...you're trying to get to sleep but can't because you don't know the right VMS logical--you keep typing SHOW LOGICAL *SLEEP* and never get anything but: %SHOW-S-NOTRAN, no translation for logical name *SLEEP* ...you fumble dialing the telephone, and make a stab for the backspace key [and wonder why the numbers aren't coming up on your screen]. ...your alarm clock goes off, and in your dream you try vainly to figure out what keyboard command to use to turn it off. ...you can't sleep any more, because you're stuck in the garbage collector and it keeps dumping with Illegal Instruction. ...you can't digest anything except VendeCoffee(TM) and VendeChoc(TM). ...you want to compile busy traffic so that it will run faster. ...your speech is punctuated by finger twitches (or arm-waving) indicating braces. ...you count things on your fingers in binary. ...someone sticks a Post-It note on your screen and you try to lower it behind some other windows. ...you find yourself trying to CTRL-S the credits rolling on the TV screen. ...you send E-mail and end each line with \n. ...you match each :-( with a :-) to keep the parentheses balanced. ...you count sheep in hex. ...you open a window to find a phone number in a file, then try to cut & paste it to the phone. ...you have been hacking X and the colors of your tv don't look right so you think maybe you should use a different Visual. ...after writing a big report, you try to backspace in a pen and paper letter. ...after days with YACC, you start to parse your conversations. ...after a large C program, you can't stop making algorithms. ...in non-computer related situation you start thinking that whatever you are doing, it could be done more easily in a shell script. ...the Government actually makes sense. ...you begin all of your questions with "INPUT. . ." ...you begin to think in nested IF-THEN-ELSE clauses that would make a bureaucrat get lost. ...your friends who aren't hackers wonder what happened to you. ...even Juan Valdez couldn't support your drastic need for yet another cup of coffee. ...your brain keeps hallucinating random "system error: collision with stack heap" or "Guru Meditation Mode # Three billion and fifty-two, press left button to continue" or even "This is not a DOS disk." error messages. ...you get a thank-you note from the local power company, along with a co-signer form for next month's bill. ...just when you finish writing the be-all-end-all program for your computer (has everything-AI, MIDI, productivity stuff, excellent games, desktop video, etc.) the entire computer industry upgrades to the "next best chip." ...you mourn the death of GOTO and spaghetti programming more than your dead fish. ...your complexion has turned pale from being constantly irradiated by the monitor. ...you start doing stuff like: cc -o a.out foo.c ...the executive who tells you that he read in PC week magazine that setting up a LAN in a multi-vendor environment using DECNET was easy and asks you to explain why it's taken you over a week to get the client/server applications in a "production mode." ...you don't care whether C or C++ is compiled or interpreted. ...your last thought when falling asleep is: while(!asleep()) lambs++; ...you have a photo of your SO taped to the corner of your screen and you get comments from passers-by like "Hey, neat GIF", and "_How_ many colors?" ...you reach for the mouse to cut that piece of code from the sheet of paper on your desk and try to paste it into the editor. ...you count empty bottles (two at a time) like this: "2, 4, 8, 16, 32, .... 32?!?" ...you start doing stuff like THIS: emacs a.out (an even worse version of this is "cat >a.out" and then start typing in your code. It hits rock bottom when a.out runs on the first attempt.) ...you dream you have to write device drivers for your refrigerator, washing machine, and other major household appliances before you can use them. ...you make a mathematical proof and try to compile it to test if it is correct. ...you are moving across town, and find yourself thinking about putting a forward in your mailbox outside. ...you are having a bad dream (being chased by space aliens, etc.) and you wake up, only to have another bad dream and realize that you are STILL dreaming, and had been dreaming you were dreaming, so you wake up again, and finally wake up once more and realize you were nested four levels deep in dreaming you were dreaming. It is bad enough to recognize that you were in a strange recursi6on, but then there is this really horrible thought "If I had experienced a stack overflow would I have been permanently unable to wake up?". Then you KNOW you are finally awake and have been hacking too long. ...your sleep cycle has revolved around the clock several times due to "working days" longer than 24 hours. ...you have to put a happy face on paper, and do it sideways. :-) ...you wake up and desperately try to start a compiler so you can use the 15 minute waiting period to sleep some more. ...you "woke up" this morning and thought, "I'll checkpoint here, snooze a bit more and then revert to checkpoint." A while later you go up another consciousness notch and realize that you hadn't checkpointed successfully -- "Oh, of course. I didn't have the keyboard." ...you ask someone if they'd like to go get some "TeX-MeX" food. ...the funniest joke you came up with over dinner has the punch line: "But what if it was in hex?" ...and the people you were with also thought it was funny. ...you ask archie where to find your keys. ...you enclose comments in your class notes with "/* */" ...you order on the phone from a catalog, and start to give the operator your email address. ...you stare blankly at the screen and your fingers type "rwho" without any help from your brain. ...you get tired of screens full of worthless information scrolling so you alias rwho. ...you subconsciously start typing "/usr/ucb/rwho" to bypass your alias. ...you alias /usr/ucb/rwho, but bypass that alias simply by inserting extra "/"s. ...your digital alarm clock goes off and you think "Bloody Macs!" ...you see a sign near the elevator that says "out of order" and you think "sort elevator > elevator.new; mv elevator.new elevator" ...when you can't wake up in the morning because you forgot to push a return address on the stack the night before. ...you find out that you can't get to sleep, because you are, in fact, the program you're designing, and can't run to completion as the lower level routines haven't been coded yet. [This may be one of the disadvantages of top-down design...] ...you look above the television for a title bar to find out the name of the program you are watching. ...in a dream, you are walking down a path (using PostScript's pathforall) and get woken up by a closepath. ...you hear your alarm, but can't seem to get fully awake until you successfully page your left arm back in from swap space. ...you start reading car license plates as machine code. JMP 451, HCF 919 (this one really shook me up), HLT 772 (Halt instruction...gotta reboot the truck again!), FOXXY (um, don't know that one...must be a floating point instruction). ...you hit the snooze bar, it goes off again, you hit it again and make a mental note that you can't do it much longer because your subroutine is mallocing memory each time it goes off, and soon will run out. ...you are trying to remember something but hear in your head: "parity error at address..." ...you're writing a homework assignment, and get to the end of the line in the middle of a sentence, tack on a '\', and continue writing on the next line. ...you pick up a rootbeer and read the label as "High Res", not Hires. ...you start typing semi-colons at the end of sentences instead of full stops; ...your children do something they shouldn't do, you tell them to stop, they do it just once more anyway, so you think "Well, they prefetched the instruction and are executing it in the delay slot." ...after fooling around all day with routers you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number. ...you want to retract something said in haste, and think C-a C-@ C-e C-w ...the message `New mail in /usr/spool/mail/foo' becomes an NMI. ...that home project you thought would only take a single weekend has now passed its first decade of development. ...you can remember your ethernet hardware address. ...you see a sign on a door saying "Please make sure this door is locked" and you wonder if lockd knows about it. ...you think "grep keys /dev/pockets" or "grep homework /dev/backpack" ...you go to the movies and it takes 5 minutes to get used to the flicker. ...you see a flock of birds and try to figure out the algorithms that determine their movement. ...you check your email more often than your paper mail, and you remember your network address faster than your postal one. ...you discover that you're balancing your checkbook in octal. ...your computers have a higher street value than your car. ...in your universe, `round numbers' are powers of 2, not 10. ...more than once, you have woken up recalling a dream in some programming language. ...you realize you have never seen half of your best friends. ...you try to bring a window to the front of something, then you realize that "something" is a Post-It (tm) on your screen. ...in art class you make a mistake in a drawing and look frantically for the undo button on the paper. ...you've been low-level debugging ethernets for a week and you see two people at a table trying to pick up the same jar of butter and you directly wonder if they are using the correct CSMA/CD algorithm to avoid a re-collision. ...your radio is playing, and you're starting a big compile on your home box, and it occurs to you that the music will begin to get a bit jerky, because you think it's playing through the computer and you're not quite sure how well it'll multitask with the compile. ...everything in your life turns into code...such as: main() { while ( sleeping ) { sleeping = !Rested(); if ( AlarmIsOn() ) sleeping = 0; } BrushTeeth( self ); Shower( self ); Dress( self ); Enter( car, self ); while ( !Started( car ) ) { if ( Inserted( key ) ) Turn( key ); else Insert( key ); } } And when you try to compile, you get: % cc -c life.c "life.c", line 4: sleeping undefined "life.c", line 10: self undefined "life.c", line 13: car undefined "life.c", line 16: key undefined ...you wake up at 3:00am from a nightmare, and realize the reason for it: There is no #include in the beginning of the dream!!! This realized, back to restful sleep... ...you want to wash your hair and think: awk -F"/neck" '{ print $1 }' | shower ...you pick up a pencil and wonder whether it supports the Norwegian letters (TeX \ae, \o, \aa). ...a fly lands on the screen and you try to pick it up with the mouse and put it in the onscreen trashcan! ...people talk to you while you're trying to work, and you think, "mesg n". ...you send email to somebody who's three terminals down the lab. ...you're replying by hand to a letter and you suddenly realize that you have written out huge chunks of the original letter with a greater than symbol at the start of each line, so you think you should edit it a bit to avoid getting flamed for including too much of the original post!! ...you leave the building at night and say "XGoodNight" to the security guard! ...before you call someone on the phone, you think: 'finger joe@his.house' ...you try to ^Z out of Quattro. ...you decide to stay in school...just to keep your Internet account! ...you look at an internal telephone extension number 2444 and immediately try to work out what permissions it represents, and then wonder why it's sgid! ...you get snail mail, and you think to your self "You have new mail on node "your_address" from user "name_on_the_frank". ...it takes a concious effort NOT to pronounce the 'd' at the end of common words. ...you send your SO notes like: while !(together(you,me)) miss(you); ...your SO kisses you on the neck and the first thing you think is "Uh, oh, priority interrupt." ...you dream that your SO and yourself are icons in a GUI and you can't get close to each other because the window manager demands minimum space between icons... ...you're awakened by your SO and all you can think of, in that muddied half- conscious state before becoming fully awake, is something having to do with male and female serial connectors and how the baud rates have to be synchronized. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: root@umibox.hanse.de (Bernd Meyer) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYHBHTL ... Date: Mon, 27 Sep 1993 20:11:59 GMT ....When at the end of a show, the names of the actors scroll across the screen, you missed one and think ""OK, I'll hit CTRL-C quickly, and maybe I can still reach it with my xterms scrollbar". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: valdis@black-ice.cc.vt.edu (Valdis Kletnieks) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTL ... Date: 29 Sep 1993 22:24:55 GMT When you're driving home after a particularly unfruitful day of dbx'ing 120 megabyte coredumps, and you look at your odometer and say to yourself "Wow, this car has gone '=' miles.". This is an indication that you need a week in Bermuda, or maybe someplace even further from a T-1 line. If at the same mileage you said NAK miles, you better check your finances to see if you can afford a long-term stay in a rest home. ;) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: tommy.usher@the-matrix.com (Tommy Usher) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKWYBHTL ... Date: 29 Sep 93 10:01:00 GMT The other day, I saw a weather warning on the TV so I called Compu$erve to check the National Weather Service bulletins. Sure enough, there was a severe thunderstorm in the next county and the advised that you should avoid windows. "No problem," I thought, "I use DOS." Seriously. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sillywiz@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (SillyWiz) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTL ... Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1993 16:12:05 GMT YNYBHTL.. when you wonder why your terminal suddenly has no keyboard and then you realise you're looking at the microwave.. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: roth@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Roth Mark Daniel) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 30 Sep 1993 21:47:31 GMT ... you're talking to a 9-year old girl who is asking you math problems as a game. She starts, "What is 9 plus...plus..." As she starts to think of another number, you interrupt, "9 post-incremented is 10." :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: davidb@ce.washington.edu (David W. Barts) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKWYBHTL ... Date: 15 Oct 1993 04:25:13 GMT A few days ago, I was listening to the morning news on NPR and they had an item about how Mike Espy had bought an Apple [they didn't say which model] in Tokyo for $5 [Wow, Cheap!! I thought. Even so, it must be an older Mac Plus or something equally obsolete.] ... ... and then went on to state that this was an example of how import restrictions made produce so expensive in Japan. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jwbirdsa@picarefy.picarefy.com (James W. Birdsall) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL... Date: Tue, 19 Oct 1993 00:58:46 GMT I was flipping through the TV listings the other day and the title of an old Lucy episode caught my eye: "Lucy Is a Process Server." It took me about fifteen seconds to make that one resolve sensibly. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: auj@aber.ac.uk (Alun Jones) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Yet another YKWYBHTLW Date: Fri, 22 Oct 1993 08:05:25 GMT Last week I was trying to get PC-NFS upgraded on the PC I use (for my sins...) Due to the non-standard driver I have to use it took about 3 attempts to get it up & running. Anyway, last night I walked into a public terminal room and on the whiteboard there were notes for some class. The first thing that hit my eyes was the phrase: net profit It took a while for me to parse that one right! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: davidw@fulcrum.co.uk (David Wilkinson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL Revisited Date: Thu, 28 Oct 1993 11:59:04 GMT YKYBHTL when as you go to sleep at night your dreams take the form of IP packets bouncing around your head, and then you suddenly realise that the reason they are bouncing around is because you forget to set up the address of the name server, so they don't know where to go... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: drs@netcom.com (Data Rentals and Sales) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL.... Date: Fri, 22 Oct 1993 23:59:13 GMT While working in pre-hexadecimal days, I once added up an expense report in octal (because there were no 8'2 or 9's in it), quite by mistake. The next day I got a call from a young lady in accounting. "Uh, Mr. Quitt? Your expense report has all the right signatures on it, but I can't get it to add up to the same number you did". "What do you get?" (She responded with the correct total, which fortunately had a nine in it). "Uh, go ahead and use that number - I see what I did wrong". Yeah, right - try and explain it? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: cpu@chac.win.net (Kip Crosby) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Date: Fri, 22 Oct 1993 15:37:33 GMT Subject: YKYBHTL.... Yesterday I was making arrangements to pick up a new laptop and, since this was a new vendor too, I needed the address. The salesrep told me it was 2048 Fourth Street, I laughed, she asked me why, and I said "Well, it's 2K 2-squared street." She paused and asked me, much too gently, "Do you think like that a lot?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: m90rca@tdb.uu.se (Richard Carlsson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBRTTL Date: 27 Oct 1993 13:33:32 GMT Hey, I had a pretty scary experience once. I was sitting by my computer at home, thinking hard about something, as usual, eyes just wandering around the room, until they focused on a wooden chair. Now, that chair is rather featureless, and the lighting was rather "artificial", but I was appalled at myself when I realised what kind of thought my brain was forming: "nice texture-mapping..." "pretty high-res as well..." "the shadows are great!..." "...Aiiiighhhh! It's a real chair!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: huge.wgc1@rx.xerox.com (Hugh Davies) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL.... Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1993 09:35:10 GMT When it strikes you that the name of the manufacturer of th coffee machine in your office - Tchibo - is a pretty obscure way to spell the The Name of He Who Greps in order that he won't find it.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: theodore@knosos.cc.uch.gr (Theodore J.I.N. Soldatos) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,rec.humor Subject: Re: You know when you've been hacking too long, Canonical list of Date: Wed, 1 Dec 1993 11:10:07 GMT You know when you've been SQLing too long when ... select * from fridge where name = 'milk' and expire_date > date('TODAY'); update glass set content = 'milk'; etc ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ab401@freenet.carleton.ca (Paul Tomblin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,rec.humor Subject: Re: You know when you've been hacking too long, Canonical list of Date: Wed, 1 Dec 1993 12:41:42 GMT theodore@knosos.cc.uch.gr (Theodore J.I.N. Soldatos) writes: >You know when you've been SQLing too long when ... > ... Shouldn't that be: insert into glass values (select * from fridge where name = 'milk' and expire_date > sysdate and volume < '1litre'); ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jim@chiba.tadpole.com (Jim Thompson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,rec.humor Subject: Re: You know when you've been hacking too long, Canonical list of Date: 3 Dec 1993 16:55:00 GMT You're fighting with your (now ex) wife, and something deep in the back of your mind wants to fire up 'adb' on her head. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: eeibht@eeiud.ericsson.se (Brendan Hassett) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Mon, 6 Dec 93 09:23:15 GMT You Know You've Been Hacking Too Long When... ...you think "I've never seen that assembler mnemonic before..." and you realise that you're looking at a licence plate. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: M.J.Jennings@amtp.cam.ac.uk (Michael Jennings) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1993 01:33:46 GMT Today, I wished to transfer some money from my cheque account to my savings account at a different bank. The easiest way to do this is to write a cheque to yourself. Therefore I got out my chequebook and wrote out a cheque, making it out to 'mjj12@amtp.cam.ac.uk'. I am really a long way gone. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: pgut1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Peter Gutmann) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Thu, 9 Dec 1993 22:38:26 GMT I once put a Reply-To: line on an envelope without even thinking about it... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: slavins@hera.psy.man.ac.uk (Simon Slavin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 10 Dec 93 17:04:34 GMT YKYBH Lisp TLW: You wake up while finishing a particularly vivid dream and think "How many brackets do I have to close to get out of this thing." Me. Wednesday. Arghhhhhhhhhhh ! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: chambles@whale.st.usm.edu (John William Chambless) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 11 Dec 1993 08:17:19 -0600 I've noticed a similar symptom in myself and others: the tendency to refer to people in speech by their login names: "I left mail for dfw, but never heard from him..." Hmmm...now that I think about it, I don't KNOW the full names of some of my friends! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Ernst 'pooh' Mulder Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Mon, 13 Dec 93 08:40:44 +0100 (GMT) Or when you urgently want to talk(1) to someone, and can't find him logged in anywhere on any system and you go desperate. And then someone tells you to use a phone... never thought of that. (Even worse if you then think "phone? I haven't got a VMS account!") ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: bj@inmos.co.uk (John Honniball) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Mon, 13 Dec 1993 18:56:49 GMT I got into the shower the other day and found that the head was badly blocked with lime scale -- hard water round here. I thought: Hmm... Time to de-gauss the shower head again... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: juanm@clark.net (Juan Molinari) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 13 Dec 1993 20:37:30 -0500 Today I read a sentence that made me do a double-take and shake my head in confusion until it sunk in... "Freud suggested that people are born with two drives [...]" (meaning Eros & Thanatos, not A: and C:) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: enf1@athens.uchicago.edu (Eric Fischer) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: You know when you've been hacking too long... Date: Wed, 15 Dec 1993 13:16:14 GMT Well, it finally happened to me last night: You know when you've been hacking too long when you're lying in bed trying to figure out why your dream thread has to explicitly yield to handle the alarm clock interrupt when obviously the interrupt handler should just be able to fork off a new pre-emptive awake process, and eventually decide that being awake must make non-reentrant system calls and have to run as a co-operative thread. This being the result of staying up until 2:00 re-reading the text for an 8:00 Operating Systems final... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: arensb@cfar.umd.edu (Andrew Arensburger) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 15 Dec 1993 23:51:57 GMT I just got a bottle of window cleaner and cleaned the screen on my machine. Then I reached for the virtual desktop manager so I could clean the other five virtual screens. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: woodman@bnr.ca (Dave Woodman) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 16 Dec 1993 14:08:34 GMT ... you fire up an xterm, invoke the on-line phone directory, double click on the number you want and just can't paste it onto the phone's LCD display! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: msb@sq.sq.com (Mark Brader) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Wed, 15 Dec 93 19:14:58 GMT Raymond* Chretien has just been appointed as Canada's new envoy to the US. The (Toronto) Globe and Mail reported this this morning with this headline: PM's nephew to get top posting Only when I saw it, I first read it as PM's nephew to stop posting I didn't know he was on Usenet... *I may have the first name slightly wrong; I don't have a paper with me. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: vasco@bvl.pt (Antonio Vasconcelos) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Fri, 17 Dec 1993 12:19:30 GMT YKYBHTL when: You are working on the computer, then you have to use your pocket calculator for something (8 x 7, most of the time), you type the numbers in and press =, then you try to read the result from the computer screen. Yukkk... That happaned to me so many times that now I use a TSR calculator. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Ernst 'pooh' Mulder Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Date: Sat, 18 Dec 93 00:05:18 +0100 (GMT) Or when you want to point at something happening somewhere else in your room, and grab your mouse to do so... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: cpu@chac.win.net (Kip Crosby) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Date: Fri, 17 Dec 1993 22:46:49 GMT Subject: YKYBHTLW.... Last night I was hooking up a CD player (my first, I blush to admit) to the stereo, got it cabled (I thought) right, turned everything on and it wouldn't come up. Puzzled, I sat staring at the snakepit of wires, and then it hit me. "duh!!" [heel of hand to forehead] "I need a SCSI adapter!" Yes, I really did say that out loud, just as well no one overheard.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: faught@convex.com (Danny R. Faught) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: You know when you've been hacking too long... Date: 21 Dec 1993 14:37:09 GMT You know you're in hopeless computer nostalgia mode when you see a package at Drug Emporium called "Run Stop" and you wonder why they'd be selling keys for the C64 keyboard there. *Run Stop is a product to prevent pantyhose from getting runs ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mcovingt@aisun3.ai.uga.edu (Michael Covington) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: You know when you've been hacking too long... Date: 22 Dec 1993 05:06:17 GMT There's a toilet-bowl cleaner called SNOBOL. I'm not kidding. (And if you don't know what SNOBOL means in computing, you're too young!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: cs92njc@brunel.ac.uk (Nik Clayton) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Wed, 15 Dec 1993 13:50:35 GMT >Ever introduce yourself like: "Hello, I'm At ."? Not quite. I do find myself mentally (and sometimes verbally) filling in usernames during conversations. When, for example, you are describing someone... "Him? Yeah, he's shortish, cropped blonde hair, hangs around with Sarah a lot, cs92dty, dodgy beige anorak..." Half the time I don't realise I'm doing it. Oh dear... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jlowrey@skat.usc.edu (John 'Fritz' Lowrey) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL Date: 23 Dec 1993 10:34:05 -0800 ... when you hear an advertisment for FTD Florists on the radio and the say their phone number is 1-800-FTD-XXXX, and you think, "Wow, dial-up FTP... an 800 number too!". I need a break! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: kodak@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Jason 'KodaK' Balicki) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Mon, 27 Dec 1993 03:57:37 GMT Over Christmas I stayed at my wifes paternal grandparents. The first morning, before I got into the shower I saw on the side of a box in the bathroom: 20 -- 1 DRAM SAMPLES "Wow, I wonder if he'll let me have some for some projects?" I forgot that DRAM is also a unit of measurement. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ab401@freenet.carleton.ca (Paul Tomblin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: You Know You're Turning Into a Network Geek When... Date: Sun, 26 Dec 1993 14:54:23 GMT I recently started working for a networking company, and I knew very little about the technology, so I've been cramming like mad. I was looking at something on the bulletin board, and they quoted somebody from our UK office as saying that "was the size of a fag packet". My first thought was "Is fag some new network protocol"? My second thought was "Is it a protocol for networks with only male connectors?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: dbryant@netcom.com (David K. Bryant) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: You're addicted to News when... Date: Fri, 31 Dec 1993 06:39:09 GMT You know you're addicted to NetNews when..... You pass over a good job offer because they don't have a newsfeed and instead take the 5th-ranked offer because they do. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jgeorge@nbi.com (Joe George) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 31 Dec 1993 03:31:16 GMT Okay. It finally happened to me. I was driving down the road today, and I saw a billboard for a car I want to buy (a Saturn, I have one, this is the second one I was thinking about) and I thought for a moment of getting a personalized license plate for it, but then I gave up when I remembered that the State of Georgia doesn't allow special characters in a license plate. /dev/car just wouldn't be the same without the slashes. Joe "wants a coffee mug that says /dev/coffee" George ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: kodak@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Jason 'KodaK' Balicki) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 31 Dec 1993 22:02:13 GMT I'm cleaning off me desk, making a trash pile. With every item I put on the pile I'm thinking: delete. . . delete . . . ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: nick@garion.it.com.au (Nick Bannon) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 1 Jan 1994 00:51:03 +0800 You know you've been hacking too long when... On the bottom of a New Year's champagne bottle's cork, (ignoring for the moment the fact that I was logged on then) you think you see the printed letters 'ASA', and the frst thing that springs to mind is a well-known encryption algorithm... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: maddison@laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au (David Maddison) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: You know you've been hacking too long when... Date: 1 Jan 1994 13:48:28 GMT 1) You're speaking to someone on the phone and they mention something like a book and you ask can you FTP a copy across. 2) You're walking through the city at a busy time and when you're trying to navigate an easy route through the crowd you think of yourself as a TCP/IP network packet. 3) You speak to a non-Internut person and think they're familiar with the Nutwork and have an email address and know about the newsgroups you've been reading. 4) You can't understand that it is possible that some people don't have email. 5) You go to the supermarket and wonder what the TCP/IP address of the scanner is and whether it can be "fingered". 6) You categorize people into those with 'Net addresses and those without. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: kim@lewis.vislab.su.edu.au (Kim Lester) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Tue, 4 Jan 1994 14:12:10 GMT One evening after a heavy week of network configuration I needed to call a technical colleague, sooo I picked up the phone and dialled his IP address (I used "*" for dot) and I only twigged halfway thru dialling cause the "dot" didn't feel quite right... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jeremy.reimer@iflex.wimsey.com (Jeremy Reimer) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Ykybhtlw... Date: Mon, 03 Jan 1994 02:36:18 -0800 I had a similar thing happen to me recently. I saw one of my manilla file folders on the floor (such is my highly organized paper filing system) and I suddenly realized that I was just standing there, looking at it... Then I realized that I was trying to mentally "double-click" on it to reveal the contents! To me this is prime proof that the idea that GUIs have to look like "real-world equivalents" is bunk, because nobody (or very few people) use the real world equivalents enough any more to be more familiar with them than they are with files, directories, etc. Nevertheless, I still like OS/2's WPS, even if it does cause me to look at real file folders strangely. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: dave@gilly.cca.org Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Date: Tue, 04 Jan 94 17:59:17 EST Subject: YKYBRUTLW... You notice an unbelievably stupid and obnoxious and unreasonably- posted commercial post from some total moron who you've already attacked for this sort of thing, and you're just bopping into vi to flame the shit out of him, when..... the alarm goes off and you wake up. ARG!!!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: hofkamp@cs.utwente.nl (Albert T. Hofkamp) Subject: YKYHBHTLW... Date: Wed, 5 Jan 1994 14:26:08 GMT You start writing smileys on paper ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: stremler@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Stewart Stremler) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTLW... Date: 5 Jan 1994 16:27:38 GMT Albert T. Hofkamp (hofkamp@cs.utwente.nl) wrote: > You start writing smileys on paper Aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhh! I _do_ that. I also _underline_ with pre- and post- underscores in my notes. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: naddy@rhrk.uni-kl.de (Christian Weisgerber) Subject: YKYHBHTLW... Date: Thu, 6 Jan 1994 12:26:38 GMT ... you wake up with the nightmarish thought: hey, there's no source code for me, I'm only available as a binary. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: dale@inacc.com (Dale Mensch) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTLW... Date: 06 Jan 1994 21:18:49 GMT When I worked on the UNISYS 1100 operating system: The dumps I was constantly perusing were always in octal instead of hex (36-bit words giving "4 bits more accuracy than IBM" was apparently a good marketing ploy a few decades ago). When my old Toyota was rolling up to 77 thousand miles, the first thing that flashed through my mind was: Ooh! The odometer is going to roll over to 00,000! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: 92571066@brt.deakin.edu.au Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Thu, 6 Jan 94 11:26:02 +1100 My girlfriend and I have been looking for a new flat. I was sitting at home reading Usenet and the phone rang. I picked it up and it was the real estate agent. We're applying for the flat in my girlfriend's name, and she wasn't in, so I said I'd take a message. I grabbed my pad that I write down any useful stuff I find while net.surfing and wrote down the agent's name: Helen.tar ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sml@valkyre.mfltd.co.uk (Shaun Lowry) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTLW... Date: 7 Jan 1994 15:19:40 GMT While I was an undergraduate, one of my projects was to implement a bar-code reader in 68000 assembler. When my freind's car's odometer rolled over to 68000, we were rolling over a zebra crossing and I wondered what the interleave was. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: cassidy@saturn.rowan.edu Subject: hacking too long... Date: Fri, 7 Jan 1994 07:49:26 GMT i was talking to my girlfriend on the phone tonight, and i said "someone loaned me the 'spinal tap' video ... i'll bring it over and we can watch it!" to which she said "i don't have a vcr!" and i said "oh! i'll just make it into an execuitable and we won't need one!" for some reason, i thought that videotape.exe would run without compilation.... time to take a break... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: spinner@ludd.luth.se (Peter Lindgren) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTLW... Date: 7 Jan 94 18:43:07 GMT Haven't followed this thread for a while, but this morning I had something I thought I could share...: Last night I were disassembling boot sectors and the MSDOS kernel startup code, for some fuzzy reason. I went to bed at 2 am, and when my clock radio started beeping this morning I pressed the Snooze button, looked at the minutes (showing :30) and thought: "No, this isn't the right cluster." Then I fell asleep again, for 9 minutes, until the clock beeped again. The same scene appeared again, but now I was getting more awakened, so that's why I remembered this. Gee, I thought I'd never become one of *them* having these kind of experiences... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: bereza@elm.csis.gvsu.edu (Bill Bereza) Subject: Re: YKYHBHTLW... Date: Sun, 9 Jan 1994 04:07:42 GMT When you see a bag of snack chips calles CC Ricers and your first thought is that Ricers is getting a carbon copy of the chips. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mhamiltn@herman.cs.uoguelph.ca (Andrew M Hamilton-wright) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 9 Jan 1994 22:43:47 GMT . . . you want to find the full definition of a word found in "spell" -- and it takes a minute to figure out why "man " didn't work . . . ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: jolomo@netcom.com (Joe Morris) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Tue, 11 Jan 1994 05:13:09 GMT ....you hear an old song with extranious "Yeah"s and "Allright"s and think of the compiler defines to stick around those output statements, #ifdef OBNOXIOUS, and actually get to the point where you're thinking about yet another rcs of the Makefile, and then realize: "My friends are right, these computers have done hypnotized me" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ab401@freenet.carleton.ca (Paul Tomblin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Top Ten List...was:Re: Cray Date: Thu, 13 Jan 1994 23:35:06 GMT I once needed some fence wire (living in the country, you know), and I seriously thought about going in and asking for "2 microseconds, please". But people up there already thought I was strange. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: alien@acheron.amigans.gen.nz (Ross Smith) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 15 Jan 94 07:17:58 GMT+12 Early in the morning (brain not fully engaged yet), you're running the bath, go to the toilet, and pause before flushing because you're not sure whether the plumbing can multitask... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: falcor@netcom.com (Howard J. Poe) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sun, 16 Jan 1994 03:23:56 GMT mason@cis.umassd.edu (Mason Bliss) writes: >In falcor@netcom.com (Howard J. Poe) writes: >>Plumbing multi-tasks the same way MS-Windoze does... non-preemptively. > >Heh... That reminds me: Last week, my toilet started to back up. The first >thing through my mind was "Argh! The toilet crashed!". I sometimes feel that my house is so messy because I have a poorly implemented garbage collection algorithm. Hmm... maybe I should work on debugging it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: etobkkc@hisoy3.eto.ericsson.se (Karlsen Bjorn) Subject: YKYHBUWTLW Date: Mon, 17 Jan 1994 06:24:44 GMT You know you have been using Windows to long when you start dreaming in a Windows environment. Happened to me last night. Pretty scary. I could even quit parts of the dream I didn't like by double-clicking the "-" in the upper left corner... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ScottM@cup.portal.com (Scott - Maxwell) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 20 Jan 94 22:05:15 PST I was staying at my friends house one night and his Golden Retriever was hanging out in his room. We were getting ready to sack out after a long hacking session (MATRIX [C-64 Unix] hacking). Ivan (the dog) was sitting next to my bed and I said "Give me your paw" Ivan laid down on the floor instead. My friend said "The shake hands feature on the dog has a bug in it." It took about 15 seconds for the 2 of us to realize what he had just said. We ended up laughing hysterically about it for about an hour. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: matstyer@acs.eku.edu Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW...DIR Date: 21 Jan 94 10:21:12 -0500 A couple stories of my own: About three weeks ago, I woke up in the middle of the night, look at the clock and saw "3:14", and immediately thought "Pi!" This week I caught myself trying to cut and paste one of my dreams ("let's just take part of this dream and put it over there") A year or so I was teaching a class on computer architecture, and we were doing cache. I had the students working on an in-class assignment simulating a cache, they were going along "hit"..."hit"..."miss"..."miss"... when I hear one of students say, "You just sunk my battleship!". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: root@umibox.hanse.de (Bernd Meyer) Subject: YKYHBHTL.... Date: Fri, 21 Jan 1994 03:51:01 GMT .....when you find out that you are able to turn off your alarm clock while sleeping, and instead of buying a new one or putting the old one in strange places, you sample some QUEEN songes with your soundblaster and set up your linux system to play them at full volume in the morning, not stopping until you removed a certain file... P.S.: I wonder how long "removing a file" will be too hard to do while sleeping :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: michael@hal6000.thp.Uni-Duisburg.DE (Michael Staats) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYHBHTL Date: 26 Jan 1994 09:35:24 GMT YKYHBHTL when you are listening to a talk about computer speech reconition and think that this talk should be "speech recognized" and filtered with | uniq | sed s/quasi//g because the speaker often repeats some word three times or more at the end of a sentence (or in the middle...). The sed line should be clear :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: gothick@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Gothick) Subject: YKWYBHTL Date: Sat, 5 Feb 1994 12:26:20 GMT ...when you turn the cold tap up, and the shower gets hotter, and you immediately think "God, this shower's badly written". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.religion.kibology,alt.culture.usenet,news.future From: lance@avalon.demon.co.uk ("Lance S. Buckley") Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Tue, 8 Feb 1994 01:40:33 +0000 You pop a disk out of the floppy drive when you've finished taping Ren & Stimpy on TV. It was in the middle of a backup and it won't recover. Shoot me, make it clean and quick. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: fanf@inmos.co.uk (Anthony Finch (PFUE)) Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Mon, 7 Feb 1994 16:33:06 GMT You know you've been emailing too much when... I was in the middle of composing an email to someone in the same building when he came up behind me to look at a book I have. This completely threw me since my brain thought he was in two places at once. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: hucke@sumter.cso.uiuc.edu (Matt Hucke) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKWYBHTL, yet again Date: 9 Feb 1994 18:36:00 GMT I bought a compact disk (music, rather than data). While reading the booklet, I noticed that for _each_ of the ~20 songs, the name of the writer and the producers were listed, as well as "stereo". Only a single item was "mono" rather than stereo, and only one had a different writer. And then the thought struck me, "they must have wasted at least 600-700 bytes by repeating all of this; pointers to a single instance would have been sufficient." It was a few seconds before I realized that "bytes" was meaningless, as the cost of printing the booklet was proportional to the page count rather than how many characters are present... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: enf1@ellis.uchicago.edu (Eric Fischer) Subject: YKWYBHTL, yet again Date: Wed, 9 Feb 1994 17:32:28 GMT In biology class a few minutes ago, the professor was talking about various characteristics of DNA, and brought up dinucleotide repeats, sections of DNA which contain the same two nucleotides over and over again. And what was going through my mind? "Hmmm... it's probably a way of trying to catch segmentation faults... you'd think we'd have evolved a better form of memory protection by now. Or maybe there used to be code there and somebody patched the binary and wrote over it with no-ops..." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: benco@soda.berkeley.edu (Ben Cottrell) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 17 Feb 1994 18:47:46 GMT Yesterday I was in a hurry to do something, and I had to eat dinner first. The thought that ran through my head was: cat /dev/plate > /dev/mouth & Strange... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ksh@prl.ufl.edu (Kevin S Ho) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 18 Feb 1994 03:32:16 GMT When you look for the meta key on your remote. When you dial "ATDT" on you fone. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: swaim@owlnet.rice.edu (Michael Parks Swaim) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Sun, 20 Feb 1994 06:42:31 GMT You dream that you're debugging code with a shotgun, DOOM style. The really nasty bugs looked like Imps. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jdahl@gamera.rchland.ibm.com (Jared Dahl) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 22 Feb 1994 16:45:33 GMT YKYBPDTLW - You Know You've Been Playing DOOM Too Long When: You exit to DOS, and attempt to return to the root directory by turning around and opening the door marked '..'! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKWYBHTL, yet again From: ccusbdm@brunel.ac.uk Date: Wed, 23 Feb 1994 15:49:17 Well, I answered the phone this morning, and started to log into it by spelling out my login_ID and password. Luckily I didn't get as far as my password before I realised what I was doing. Then this afternoon, I wondered what time it was, and looked at my screen for the clock - *that reflex seems to be better ingrained than glancing at my watch*! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: woodman@bnr.ca (Dave Woodman) Subject: YKYBHTL Date: Thu, 24 Feb 1994 09:42:21 GMT You know you've been hacking too long when, on the way into work, you read the sign on the back of the van in front as "Modem and Traditional Re-upholsterers..." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: stets@stets.stgt.sub.org (Thomas Stets) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YNYBAHTLW Date: Fri, 25 Feb 94 16:50:29 GMT We just finished a 2-year project, a manufactoring control system based on a client-server design. I remember one night driving home after a week of heavy programming (on average 13 hours per day) i was thinking about a friend I used to swap books with. I had lost contact with her, and suddenly it occurred to me: "All the books will fill the message pool, since I closed the message queue to her!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: im14u2c@cegt201.bradley.edu (Joe Zbiciak) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYHBHTL Date: 2 Mar 1994 07:50:53 -0600 YKYHBHTL when you say to yourself "I pinged reality and determined our connection to the host was down..." (Said this morning, as I sent wakeup packets to myself every 20 minutes or so, but was unable to get a stable boot (even yet.) (Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwn) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ily@bronze.lcs.mit.edu (Rob Freundlich) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 2 Mar 1994 09:44:12 -0500 YKYBHTLW your alarm clock goes off and you think "great! we have connectivity! Put away the OhmMeter!" (happened to a friend who's been trying to solve a network problem for _far_ too long) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: at425@yfn.ysu.edu (Tom Salyers) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 10 Mar 1994 20:50:53 GMT Prime example: Driving home the other night, I heard this really detestable cover version of an old Nilsson song and thought, "Wow, I really hate the way they ported this song." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: bcombee@nyx10.cs.du.edu (Ben Combee) Subject: YKYBHTLW - Atlanta, GA Division Date: Fri, 11 Mar 94 07:27:46 GMT I was driving down Piedmont Drive here in Atlanta when I saw a billboard for The Container Store. It had in big letters "Destination: Organization". I immediately thought "No, no, no! RFC-822 doesn't specify a Destination field, although it would be correct if it went 'Organization: Destination'". Arghh! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: tsw@cypher.apple.com (Tom Watson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 11 Mar 1994 12:55:48 -0800 In article , becker@rowlf.cc.wwu.edu (Cloud Dancer) wrote: > ... you start assigning interrupt priority levels to things in your life. > > I realized this when I was programming, and my girlfriend asked me how I was > doing. It took about a minute for me to rely, and she teased me about paying > more attention to my computer than her. I automatically replied that my brain > had IRQ0, and my eyes IRQ1, and ears IRQ2. Only when she looked at me > quizically did I realize what I had said. :-) > It all comes to pass when you finally realize that sex is THE non-maskable interupt. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: walth@netcom.com (Walter Howard) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Sun, 13 Mar 1994 19:48:47 GMT You're having a great brainstorm with someone and then someone else stupid walks into the room and you think, "Uh oh, 300 baud". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: bh@access1.digex.net (Bill Harrison) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: 12 Mar 1994 01:57:12 -0500 How about this -- Have you ever had to waste time actually TALKING to someone? I've wished I could grep a person for information more than once.. Of course, if the system was slow, I could always do something else while waiting. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jiml@up.edu (Jim Little) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 14 Mar 1994 19:44:48 -0800 I'm one of those people who has a great difficulty getting up in the morning. Well, this morning, I woke up about an hour early. I glanced at my clock in surprise, then thought to myself, "Wow, somebody must have upgraded the firmware to v1.1." I prompty went back to sleep. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: bh@access3.digex.net (Bill Harrison) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 16 Mar 1994 23:30:28 -0500 I was watching the television, and a boring scene was on the program. I wondered why the screen blanker hadn't kicked in. I misspelled something with a pen today and my first thought was to hit delete.. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: oldsma@mary (Manny Olds) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 17 Mar 1994 17:46:19 GMT YKYBHTLW ... You are reading an article about comas (no, not punctuation), and the article talks about "does not respond to outside stimuli", and you think, "I guess they have to do a hard reset." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: oldsma@mary (Manny Olds) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 17 Mar 1994 17:49:20 GMT YKYBHTLW ... You start having dreams with a text-based interface. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ash@testbox.apana.org.au (Ash Nallawalla) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Fri, 18 Mar 94 10:16:14 +1000 In Thomas Ward Hanselman writes: >Here's another one: >I was walking in the nearby mall one day, when I heard someone say 'seashell'. >The first thing that popped into my mind was UNIX's C Shell!. Every time I see an "AI" car sticker I think of Artificial Intelligence. For those who have not seen one, it stands for Amnesty International. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: at425@yfn.ysu.edu (Tom Salyers) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Son of YKYBHTLW! Date: 21 Mar 1994 17:38:19 GMT So I'm watching _Schindler's List_ the other night and notice the sign on Schindler's factory: "Deutsche Emailwarenfabrik" (apologies to German speakers if I mangled that =) ) . The first thought in my head: "Email? In the forties? Nahhh...." Someone please kill me.....=) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: wollman@ginger.lcs.mit.edu (Garrett Wollman) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 21 Mar 1994 20:08:06 GMT About a week ago, one of the elevators in our building got stuck with the doors halfway closed on the first floor. I informed a security guard, he squeezed into the empty car, and sure enough, the doors were stuck. He then went over to the control panel and proceeded to flick switches: no luck. He finally turned off the elevator power and turned it back on again. My first comment was, ``Rebooting the elevator...'' (Scary thing is, there might actually be a PeeCee hiding somewhere that I can't see that actually really was controlling the thing...) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: teney931@cs.uidaho.edu (TENEYCK) Date: 22 Mar 1994 21:49:04 GMT Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYB Reading Usenet TLW: I was at a local bookstore when I saw the book Learn Microsoft Money Fast! And nearly flew into a blind, homicidal rage. Or at any rate was mildly peeved for a moment before I realized what I was looking at. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: wollman@ginger.lcs.mit.edu (Garrett Wollman) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 24 Mar 1994 22:16:01 GMT ...you get in the elevator on your way home, pound on the button for your office floor, and wonder why the elevator won't toggle your location... [Really happened to me the other day.] Another thing that I've had happen, although it's not hack-related per se, is that I often try to open my apartment door with my office key. This is not so unusual, but: sometimes I take out another office key, look at it, tell myself ``Oops, 500, that's the lab key'', any then try to unlock my apartment door with my regular office key... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: spbcajk@ucl.ac.uk (Mr Andrew John Kale) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 25 Mar 1994 14:44:33 -0600 Listening to the radio last night, I heard the news of the gas explosion in New Jersey and thought that the newsreader said "The flames grepped through the building ..." before working it out about 10 secs later. Sad, I know, but hey ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: umennis0@cc.umanitoba.ca (Sean Douglas Ennis) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKWYBHTL when...... Date: 29 Mar 1994 01:34:00 GMT You read the Motor Harley Davison Cycles Logo on the back of someone's jacket and think it said Motorola (sp?). ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: malc@solstice.unr.edu (Malcolm L. Carlock) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Wed, 30 Mar 1994 01:26:55 GMT ... someone leaves a Post-It note on your screen, and after reading the note you click on the window below it to try bringing the window into the foreground (i.e., in front of the note...) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: lrucker@parcplace.com (Lee Ann Rucker) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 18 Mar 1994 21:05:30 GMT I overheard someone saying "I'm getting antsy" (slang for nervous) and thought "getting ANSI what?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: djohnson@seuss.ucsd.edu (Darin Johnson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 19 Mar 1994 02:54:41 GMT My Aunt and Uncle raised sheep for awhile, and she used to do a bit of part-time vet work occasionally as well. So when I told her I was working at an AI center, she gave me a strange look :-) She thought I meant Artificial Insemination. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: pgut1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Peter Gutmann) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Fri, 4 Mar 1994 13:13:24 GMT A few days ago for some reason I woke up during the morning with a very bad case of shivering (which had nothing to do with the actual temperature, it's as hot as anything here even at night - I still don't know what caused it). Anyway, after about 15 minutes of shaking I thought "I suppose I should run some diagnostics on my arms and legs to find out what's wrong". Then I found the flaw: "If I do find a problem, what do I do about it? I don't think you can get spare limbs" (at least that proves I was still capable of rational thought). Eventually I managed to get back to sleep again... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: lance@avalon.demon.co.uk ("Lance S. Buckley") Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Date: Fri, 4 Mar 1994 14:12:27 +0000 ... you read a letter in a magazine, from a total _moron_, and you spend a good 30 seconds wondering which key to hit so you can follow up with that brilliant flame which just popped into your head. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: becker@rowlf.cc.wwu.edu (Cloud Dancer) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 6 Mar 94 21:15:55 GMT ... you start assigning interrupt priority levels to things in your life. I realized this when I was programming, and my girlfriend asked me how I was doing. It took about a minute for me to rely, and she teased me about paying more attention to my computer than her. I automatically replied that my brain had IRQ0, and my eyes IRQ1, and ears IRQ2. Only when she looked at me quizically did I realize what I had said. :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Thomas Ward Hanselman Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Tue, 8 Mar 1994 15:52:24 GMT Here's another one: I was walking in the nearby mall one day, when I heard someone say 'seashell'. The first thing that popped into my mind was UNIX's C Shell!. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: steveo@highett.mel.dbce.csiro.au (Stephen Oakes) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 6 Apr 1994 05:57:10 GMT ...you go wine tasting, and tip the left-overs into the "bit-bucket". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: lrucker@parcplace.com (Lee Ann Rucker) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 10 Apr 1994 19:12:44 GMT You panic when someone says "The Sun's just gone down" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: bittle@antares.canisius.edu (Jason Bittle) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKWYBHTL when...... Date: 10 Apr 94 19:42:05 GMT here's me YKWYBHTL... I was driving with my friend, and he was talking how he took some books out of a local public library. I asked him if he could check out some lacrosse books when he asked "how come you can't do it". Before I even realized it, I blurted out "I don't have an account there." (meaning I don't have a library card) Then I thought (but didn't say) I wonder if I could use archie and ftp it.. Gotta get out more.. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: essomdah@netcom.com (Eric S Somdahl) Subject: YKYBHTL when Date: Sat, 9 Apr 1994 22:21:18 GMT you comment your assembler code in C. My prof wanted commented code, so I obliged... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: M.D.Crowther@bradford.ac.uk (Mark Crowther) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL when Date: Sun, 10 Apr 1994 13:03:56 GMT .... you think "I wonder if my letter (snail mail) has reached its destination yet?" "Yes, it must have otherwise it would have bounced..." [I really found myself momentarily thinking this this morning!] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: pete@minster.york.ac.uk (Pete Fenelon) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 10 Apr 1994 20:46:01 GMT In article <2ntivm$eb8@news.dmpe.CSIRO.AU> Stephen Oakes wrote: ; ...you go wine tasting, and tip the left-overs into the "bit-bucket". ...you type ``telnet localhost 13'' to get the date and time after you've been drinking too much! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: n1ist@netcom.com (Michael L. Ardai) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Mon, 11 Apr 1994 18:03:13 GMT This morning, I looked next to my bed and found three sneakers. My first thought was 'oops - parity error'... Then again, the reason that you often lose one sock in the washer is someone leaving the washing machine set on odd parity :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: guy@dearg.cuillin.org.uk (Guy Dawson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 11 Apr 1994 22:20:51 GMT I think you'll find the washing machine is actually set to no-parity. Sometimes only one sock comes out, sometimes three and sometimes two. Four is probably not unknown! The washing machine as a store & forward mailer? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: s934186@minyos.xx.rmit.EDU.AU (David John Chapman) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL... Date: 11 Apr 1994 13:07:20 GMT ... when you put some chocolates on the coffe table, and someone asks if they can have some, and you say "yeah, they're for global distribution" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: hucke@sumter.cso.uiuc.edu (Matt Hucke) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: 11 Apr 1994 16:39:30 GMT s934186@minyos.xx.rmit.EDU.AU (David John Chapman) writes: > >... when you put some chocolates on the coffe table, and someone asks if >they can have some, and you say "yeah, they're for global distribution" Similarly, when buying food, it was private by default, but if I wanted my roommates to know they could eat a certain item, I would inform them that "I've declared this as public". (this was around the time I was learning C++...) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: chambles@whale.st.usm.edu (John William Chambless) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: 11 Apr 1994 16:46:09 -0500 My first reaction to this was "what's the argument for chmod to grant 'eat' access to 'group'?" ..on the other hand, it _would_ be handy to be able to eat-protect the last of the cookies before I go to work.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: zcapk39@ucl.ac.uk (Gareth Evans) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Wed, 13 Apr 1994 15:16:20 GMT YKYBHTLW... you visualise normal conversations as lines of text & smileys... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: clc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Claudio Calvelli) Subject: Re: YKWYBHTL when...... Date: Wed, 13 Apr 1994 09:50:41 GMT This morning I walked by a hotel which advertised a "function suite". My first thought was something on the line of: Damn! I tried to order a pint, but waiter() returned void. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: awrc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Al Crawford) Subject: Re: YKWYBHTL when...... Date: Wed, 13 Apr 1994 14:41:40 GMT And lo, clc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Claudio Calvelli) spake unto the masses saying: > > This morning I walked by a hotel which advertised a "function suite". > My first thought was something on the line of: > > Damn! I tried to order a pint, but waiter() returned void. No, Claudio, you're *much* further gone than that, I'm afraid. Yep, folks, today is the day that Claudio misheard the phrase "banana yoghurt" (I was buying an afternoon snack at the time) as "segmentation fault". This is surely a sign of a sick, sick mind. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: smoke@cs.pitt.edu (Sheldon Smoker) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.geek Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 19 Apr 1994 02:18:19 GMT Here's a good one: I was dreaming about a Makefile one night after working late, and as I was in the quasi-sleep-awake mode around 11:00 the next day my throat was really dry. I thought, "cat something | throat" would help relieve my thrist. Then I woke up and thought hhhmm, "throat < something" would be more efficient... ack! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: wollman@ginger.lcs.mit.edu (Garrett Wollman) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 19 Apr 1994 23:23:52 GMT You know you've been hacking too long when... ...you're not sure whether the meal you're eating should be called ``breakfast'' or ``dinner''. ...you decide that the Finnish name for the {\AA}land islands, Ahvenanmaa, is superior to the Swedish one because it requires no high-half characters. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: hofkamp@cs.utwente.nl (Albert T. Hofkamp) Subject: YKYHBHTLW Date: Wed, 20 Apr 1994 12:50:31 GMT Yesterday evening, we were watching TV, and suddenly the video-image frooze, because the video tape in the studio`s got stuck, or something like that. After 3 seconds watching, I caught myself thinking 'How do I reset the TV ?' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: holland@CS.ColoState.EDU (douglas craig holland) Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 20 Apr 94 20:25:13 GMT A couple days ago, we were talking about CPR and that sort of thing, and a nurse friend of mine said that defibrilators didn't actually start the heart, but stopped it - useful in fibrilation cases when the heart was twitching instead of beating. The brain then thought "Hey, the heart's not beating" so it sends signals that start it beating properly. The instant I heard that I thought "Cold booting the heart." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.geek From: ian@cs.brandeis.edu (Xiphias Gladius) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Wed, 20 Apr 1994 21:35:24 GMT juanm@clark.net (Juan Molinari) writes: >dave@cca.org (Dave Fischer) writes: >>zcapk39@ucl.ac.uk (Gareth Evans) writes: >>>YKYBHTLW... you visualise normal conversations as lines of text & smileys... >>Your fingers reflexively twitch when you want to smile. . . . .you use :) to indicate humor in a handwritten letter. Of course, if you are writing a handwritten letter, then I guess you're not a real geek, which brings me to: . . . . you've lost contact with all your friends who aren't on the 'net. Even the guy who lives across the street from you. . . . you realize that you've no idea what most of your friends look like. And, one from the vaults: . . . you file your income tax return in hex. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: benc@netcom.com (Ben Coleman) Subject: YKYBH UUCP TL when... Date: Wed, 20 Apr 1994 23:56:44 GMT You spot something like "Darvin's Honey Butter" in the grocery store, and the first thing that comes to mind is "Isn't the word order wrong?" (alas, I know this from experience). ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jiml@up.edu (Jim Little) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 20 Apr 1994 23:20:30 -0700 Recently, somebody posted in another newsgroup that their CD-ROM was 'quiet as a mouse.' I sat there a couple seconds, trying to figure out what they meant. Then I realized, of course!, they must be using a mouse pad! -Jim "So why is that a YKYBHTLW?" Little ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.geek From: jpg@minerva.cis.yale.edu (Jeremy P Goldman) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 22 Apr 1994 15:50:18 GMT +--------+ : XP : : OIL : +--------+ and you wonder why anyone would want to cross-post oil. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jdoherty@bga.com (John Doherty) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTLW Date: 21 Apr 1994 18:59:00 -0500 I used to have an epilectic dog. When he threw a fit, one could often hear the request, "Hey, would someone please reboot the dog?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: chambles@whale.st.usm.edu (John William Chambless) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTLW Date: 22 Apr 1994 06:22:31 -0500 In article <2p69bn$6ci@scitsc30.wlv.ac.uk>, ** Shell ** wrote: >I was watching a program on BBC2 last night about the Internet. At the >end of the program, it displayed information, which I wanted, about an >internet site and I actually found myself thinking, for a moment, >`Where's the print-screen button on my remote-control?!' One reason I got rid of my TV was that I was constantly annoyed by not being able to backscroll or cut-n-paste. Now that I think of it, if you see a really good show, you ought to be able to: s |mail friend so that friend can watch it, too. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jaf289s@nic.smsu.edu (Ferris Jeffrey A) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.geek Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 22 Apr 1994 19:29:46 -0500 YKYBHTLW... Your .plan file takes up all the space allocated for your account... You have multiple e-mail accounts on different systems around the country... You have so much electromagnetic interference pouring from the equipment in your room, no one can use a cordless phone within 4 blocks... You change nearly every common phrase into an acronym... When thinking about a reaction, you visualize it in * *'s... The lights dim whenever you boot your computer... You can fluently read and write in hex... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: spruce@interaccess.com (Bruce Wilson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 24 Apr 1994 16:18:49 GMT YKYBHTLW you get stuck at a long traffic-controlled stoplight, and mentally start designing a better algorithm to allow traffic through more intelligently. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jliukkon@cc.Helsinki.FI (Juha-Matti Liukkonen) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTLW Date: 23 Apr 1994 21:29:04 +0300 When I see the blank moments on the TV, I instinctively twitch to hit ... And then wonder where the heck the keyboard is. (My screen lockup password is , as all of you of course already realized ;) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: jmarin@messi.uku.fi (Jukka Marin) Subject: YKYBHTLW.. Date: 24 Apr 94 10:07:06 GMT When you wish your wife had defined some macros for the washing machine, so it'd be easier to set the proper temperature etc. for washing blankets.. When a video cassette has had the record-enable tab removed and you think, "argh, this tape has been write protected".. When your microcontroller-based thermometer has crashed and you keep putting _way_ too much clothes on when you go out (because the display reads the same temperature as two weeks ago when it was real cold outside)... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taylornw@ehp01.ehp.ornl.gov (Nicholas W. Taylor) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW.... Date: Mon, 2 May 1994 01:22:26 GMT ...you wake up from a terrific dream and scramble to write it down, not because of the dancing elephants, nudes, and flying Picassos, but because you saw dancing with _them_ the algorithm to solve your latest programming project. --Nick "and a pink horse wearing boxers" Taylor ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: steveo@highett.mel.dbce.csiro.au (Stephen Oakes) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Date: 3 May 1994 01:01:18 GMT ... you're proof reading a (hard-copy) manual, and you think: "Shit, that phrase should be hypertexted..." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: rsf@mother.idx.com (Rob Freundlich) Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Wed, 4 May 1994 18:41:05 GMT YKYBHTLW you pick up the phone and try to dial using your computer's numeric keypad ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: joberreu@bach.seattleu.edu (Jesse Oberreuter) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 4 May 1994 16:05:31 -0700 YKYBHTLW: You start coding on a turned off keyboard & correct your mistakes. You wake up exhausted from an all night dream state debugging run. You can see everything going on on your monitor with your eyes closed. Your fingers are too tired to type anymore. After four days straight you ask a co-worker to open a bottle of liquid refreshment for you because you've become too weak. You explain your dyslexia by saying your name server's cache is out of sync. with its multi-dimensional vectored hash table. Many, many more avail on request... BTW, these are all real & I have witnesses :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ai731@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Janice Wright) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 5 May 1994 10:06:22 GMT ...your alarm clock goes off and your dream returns to the WWW home page. ...happened to me the other night, scary, isn't it... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: at425@yfn.ysu.edu (Tom Salyers) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 4 May 1994 21:41:50 GMT YKYBHTLW...your girlfriend has a little makeup bag with silhouettes of the Arc de Triomphe on it, and your first thought upon viewing it at 6 AM is "Hm....jumpers. Wonder what those go to." And yes, I finish sentences with prepositions in the morning...=) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article: 35158 of alt.folklore.computers Path: tridom!emory!swrinde!ihnp4.ucsd.edu!agate!ames!decwrl!decwrl!waikato!auckland.ac.nz!jhis01.cs.aukuni.ac.nz From: jhis01@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Jonathan Warwick Histed) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Date: 5 May 1994 05:49:26 GMT Organization: University of Auckland Lines: 47 Message-ID: <2qa1d6$q1q@ccu2.auckland.ac.nz> References: NNTP-Posting-Host: cs13.cs.aukuni.ac.nz X-Newsreader: NN version 6.5.0 #7 (NOV) This has actually happened to me (well, sort of)... I had just finished a project for an AI paper - solving the 8-puzzle using heuristic searches...being a typical hacker, I wrote the program in C rather than use a time-saving(tm) language such as Prolog. :-) Anyway, I finished and went to bed at 3am (yes, I know - it's early, but I was soffering from a condition called No Coke). I woke at around 8:30am remembering a dream in which the algorithm (in C, of course :-) was scrolling by in the background, and I was executing the algorithm in the foreground, complete with little 3-d models of 8-puzzles, and "pointers". It brought new meaning to the oft' spoken lecturer phrase "you should be able to do this in your sleep". :-) On a similar note, I got a call from a friend last weekend, who had just been offered a different job with his firm, which happened to be in a different city. He said: "I'm moving to Wellington(*)" All I could think to say was: "So, you've had an upgrade. What version?" Which seemed totally logical to me - he'd been upgraded to a new position, and I wanted to know what position it was. He thought otherwise (not a Computer Scientist)... (*) Wellington = capital city of New Zealand, as opposed to Auckland which is the larget city in New Zealand, and was the capital before some idiot decided physical centralisation would be a neat idea. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ande0870@gold.tc.umn.edu (Gregory T Anderson) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 6 May 1994 19:09:58 GMT YKYBHTLW your alarm clock goes off, and in the dream-state that you're in, you attempt to telnet alarm.clock in order to turn it off. Greg (alarm.clock connection refused) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: lstowell@pyrnova.mis.pyramid.com (Lon Stowell) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 6 May 1994 17:35:46 -0700 When your buddy the cabinet maker says "please hand me a bastard file" and you 'rcp /unix......." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: insom@galaxy.ucr.edu (chris ulrich) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 7 May 1994 02:24:36 -0700 Earlier this evening, I got out of my roommate's car, and the seatbelt failed to retract. I asked myself if something had happened getty and if anyone would be able to log back in to his car. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: eeyimkn@unicorn.nott.ac.uk (M. Knell) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 7 May 1994 21:20:06 GMT YKYBHTLW your regular typos (the ones you _always_ make) are so habitual that your profile aliases 'ks 0k' to 'ls -l'. I know mine does... *grin* ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.geek From: tovey@mundil.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Matthew Ian TOVEY) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Tue, 10 May 1994 11:04:54 GMT YKYBHTLW you're coding away, after being called up for a meal, and you insert a line: if (dinner == cold) before you realise what you've done. That night, I also dreamt in C. I don't remember details, I just awoke realising that I'd had a very well structured dream, full of "while"s and for loops. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... From: dave@cca.org (Dave Fischer) Date: Sun, 08 May 94 23:23:17 EDT My bedroom terminal is *right* next to my bed. So close that the keyboards stays on the bed. It's a vt220. Untill I can replace it with a LCD display terminal of some sort, I don't like leaving it on while I'm sleeping. I *do* have my doorbell wired up through the computer, but I don't care if I don't hear the doorbell when I'm not logged in. (If I'm awake, I'm logged in.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: awilson@merle.acns.nwu.edu (Andrew Wilson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 11 May 1994 01:13:54 GMT YKYBHTLW... you see someone race by on a 'ZUMA Sport Cycle' (or some such) and you think "Wait. I killfiled that guy already. Why am I seeing him?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: pkinnes@csupomona.edu Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 10 May 94 19:42:44 PST YKY Girlfriend's BHTLW: She falls asleep with her arm around your shoulder, and after a few minutes, she starts 'typing' on you in her sleep..... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: mjarvis@okcforum.osrhe.edu (Michael Jarvis) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 12 May 1994 02:14:28 GMT There have been many mornings after a all-night hacking run that I've fumbled with my alarm clock, searching for CTRL-ALT-DEL... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.geek From: ande0870@gold.tc.umn.edu (Gregory T Anderson) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 12 May 1994 19:20:43 GMT YKYBHTLW you're reading a book, look up to see what page you're on, and upon seeing 111, the first number you think of is 7. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: srchopr@chv.lincoln.cri.nz Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: RE: YKYBHTLW Date: Fri, 13 May 94 15:57:05 +1300 .. you get ready to jump on someone requesting old business cards and you find they want them for "details of drymatter sampling". Sue "Craig who?" Knight ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.geek From: murraygs@newton.ccs.tuns.ca (Gregory Scott Murray) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 13 May 1994 04:40:58 GMT YKYBHTLW when you're taking notes and when the prof goes back and adds a few lines to a paragraph on the other side of the board, you try and insert a line before realizing its pen and paper... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: insom@galaxy.ucr.edu (chris ulrich) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 16 May 1994 01:46:00 -0700 Last night, I had a dream that I was trying to gain weight, and I was doing so by recompiling my binaries with static links. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: elascurn@daimi.aau.dk (Lars R{der Clausen) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 16 May 1994 21:10:10 GMT ...you end sentences with ; instead of . ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: samir@dumbo.cc.utexas.edu (Samir Mahendra) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 17 May 1994 17:31:07 -0500 One of the questions on one of my final exams required writing some code. After I finished writing it, I found myself staring at the page, thinking "I wonder why the compiler's taking so long...". In my half dazed state I think I tried to interrupt the process before I realized where I was. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: pburgess@netcom.com (Phillip Burgess) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Wed, 18 May 1994 06:50:45 GMT Funny how one's brain will actually sit there trying to work these things out... Just today (and in a nearly fully conscious state), I was passing by a tuxedo rental place with their front window painted in big, day-glo letters: "'94 PROM HEADQUARTERS!" I was thinking it might have something to do with upgrading one's BIOS chips. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: agrino@enkidu.mic.cl (Andres Grino Brandt) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 20 May 1994 17:55:15 CST When you start to 'logout' from one server and 'login' to other server every time you turn over yourself while sleeping. Worse even, you do 'map *.*' every time something in bed disturb you ... Just surviving from a 3 days high fever ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: mrw9e@fulton.seas.Virginia.EDU (Michael Robert Williams) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sat, 21 May 1994 04:17:49 GMT In my office, we keep an old Selectric typewriter for labels and forms that don't easily fit into the printer. The other day I finished typing a form, and then tried to press to turn the machine off. I need to sleep more and use Windoze less. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: awg1000@phx.cam.ac.uk (A.W. Garrard) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 21 May 1994 15:21:08 GMT ... you go to the toilet and start looking for a disc-eject button. I stopped just short of working out that I was a Mac, and hunting for a paperclip. I'm glad I didn't try to work out where to put it. Scary, isn't it? I also had one of those days when I woke up very slowly, and the room was fuzzy because I'd gone to sleep with my contact lenses in. I'm still trying to work out why I thought 'awful picture... need more processing power... what do you expect from a Z80?' But then a friend of mine when he got drunk one evening was last heard mumbling about a stack overflow and not being able to push his accumulator. I think we need help. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ande0870@gold.tc.umn.edu (Gregory T Anderson) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sat, 21 May 1994 19:03:05 GMT When you wake up in the middle of the night because you have to go to the bathroom, and remember that just before you woke up, the contents of the a4 register were 'need to pee'. Greg "Too much 680X0 assembly" Anderson ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: hucke@sumter.cso.uiuc.edu (Matt Hucke) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 21 May 1994 21:15:59 GMT YAYKYBHTLW... I had a strange dream last night... I was using an automatic bridge-building machine (place it on a riverbank and press a button). Every time more wood or iron was needed, it would be malloc()'d. I did this too many times without free()'ing the old building materials, and crashed the river, flooding the city. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: stets@stets.stgt.sub.org (Thomas Stets) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 20 May 94 23:54:11 GMT A similar thing happened to a some days ago. I passed a car with a sign saying "For Sale: Ford Fiesta 1.0", and I went on thinking why anyone would buy such an early version of a car... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW From: stan.salter@ablelink.org (Stan Salter) Date: Sun, 22 May 94 00:06:00 -0500 When I went into the Local Bar today they just got it a new beer that has just been released in Canada. Red Dog Beer. On the centre of the neck label is ALT BEER. Here I am in the bar trying to read unread articles. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: bernie@metapro.DIALix.oz.au (Bernd Felsche) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Mon, 23 May 1994 02:33:18 GMT Passes a shopfront with "Beta Travel". I'd rather not do beta testing on holidays. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: noien@chmeds.ac.nz Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW ... Date: 23 May 94 16:58:02 +1200 Here's a dark, dark YKYBHTLW ...... I work in a Cancer treatment clinic. My job involves setting up Radiotherapy beams (beams of radiation aimed at a tumour in order to kill it off). To do this we are setting up an SGI based system in which a 3D model of the patient is made from CAT scan data. The beams are then simulated on this model, and if the clinicians think it's all go then the treatment goes ahead. Last night I dreamed I was diagnosed as having cancer. I went into work and there was a 3D model of me (insides and all) being rotated, scaled etc. on the SGI. The operators were trying to line up the beam, and the SGI was giving them all sorts of problems. The simulation software was playing up, they were out of swap space, the disk was full, the print queues were screwy ...... So I was frantically trying to fix these problems, due to my vested interest, and I was getting slowly weaker and weaker. We run a VAX 11/750 as well and I kept saying "Use the VAX, it's old, I know, no 3D pictures but it works", but they were in love with the SGI 3D graphics and wouldn't hear of it. They kept saying "You can fix it" and I kept on trying frantically to wrestle with the UNIX command line .... Finally as I expired, slumping forward onto the keyboard, the mouse falling from my hand, my last thought was "God Damn UNIX Systems!". Then I woke up. Guns don't kill people. Graphics do. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jbaxter@sandtrap.Stanford.EDU (Joel Baxter) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW ... Date: 23 May 1994 07:55:12 GMT In article <1994May23.165802.501@chmeds.ac.nz> noien@chmeds.ac.nz writes: > > Guns don't kill people. Graphics do. > Or, YKYBHTLW, at first glance, you read the above line as "Gnus don't kill people..." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.irc From: R.C.Theobald@bradford.ac.uk (RC THEOBALD) Subject: Re: YKYBIRCingTLW... Date: Tue, 24 May 1994 22:50:20 GMT David John Chapman (s934186@minyos.xx.rmit.EDU.AU) spat out this missive: : You know you've been IRCing too long when you sit down with friends at the : caf and say "re." How VERY true! My girl friend tried to wake me up one night when i was snoring and all I said in my semi-comatose states was ,"It is set to off." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: cms@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Colin Simpson) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 27 May 1994 10:38:44 GMT When you suddenly realise while walking in a supermarket that it is more efficient to count in binary upon your fingers. Thereby allowing you to count upto 1023 on your fingers !!! Or you could try two's compliment and get negative numbers Ahh ahhh !!! I've been Hacking too long !!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ag129@ucs.cam.ac.uk (Alasdair Grant) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 27 May 1994 20:42:30 ... when you find yourself looking in the RFC index to see which RFC "RFC 822" is defined in. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 28 May 94 13:04:54 EDT From: dave@cca.org (Dave Fischer) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... cms@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Colin Simpson) writes: >Thereby allowing you to count upto 1023 on your fingers !!! >Or you could try two's compliment and get negative numbers "I flashed him the number 4 and he got all pissed off. I dunno why." I only go up to 512, cause I use a parity bit in noisy public places. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mbridson@morgan.ucs.mun.ca (Mary Bridson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YAYKYBHTLW... Date: 28 May 94 00:25:51 GMT ...you crack up in laughter upon reading (in someone's .sig): LOAD "VMUNIX",8,1 ...and then begin thinking about it seriously. =) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: zaphod@cs.hut.fi (Seppo J Niemi) Newsgroups: alt.irc,alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBIRCingTLW... Date: 28 May 1994 22:01:27 GMT A couple of years ago when I was deep into mudplaying, I was constantly saying things like 'open door', 'enter room' or 'get ' to myself. Sometimes when I had to put up with an annoying person, I'd say 'kill with sword'; fortunately I didn't have a sword at hand ;-) Nowadays I work as a system administrator and sometimes, when I meet assholes or just plain stupid people, I wish I could just say 'su root' and 'kill -9' - or at least 'kill -15'. I guess that would make me a true 'Bastard operator from Hell'... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: joberreu@bach.seattleu.edu (Jesse Oberreuter) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 31 May 1994 13:03:10 -0700 You're TRNing in your dreams and end up patching the video scroll routine in asm to speed it up. Last night was awful! I was hacking in my sleep, minding my own buisness when suddenly my file manager stopped accepting standard file names! The only things it would take were all upper case, XXXXXXXX.XXX style DOS names! My mind's conclusion was that I had used up all of the other possible "normal" file names, and these dreaded combinations were all that were left! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: tweber@cc.brynmawr.edu (Weber Tracy L) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 1 Jun 1994 04:21:44 GMT Aaaahh.... I once had a dream that I had a child, and I wanted to name him Jonathan Michael, but the doctor said that wouldn't fit on the birth certificate, and to keep my names to the 8.3 standard... I woke up in a cold sweat. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: koen@wsinis04.info.win.tue.nl (Koen Holtman) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 1 Jun 1994 16:36:55 +0200 ...when you read the string f@%$ck in a flame message and the first word that comes to mind is fsck. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.geek From: bernie@metapro.DIALix.oz.au (Bernd Felsche) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 2 Jun 1994 03:57:59 GMT Fax machine rings, answers... You type "who" to find out where the fax is coming from... And wonder why it doesn't show up. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: mark-r@spec0.ee.man.ac.uk (Mark Robinson) Subject: You know.... Date: Thu, 2 Jun 1994 16:37:44 GMT YKYBHTLW... You ask someone if they want 'tea eor coffee' because they can't have both.. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: pjx@ichaos.nullnet.fi (Petteri Jäntti) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Thu, 2 Jun 1994 08:37:32 GMT I woke up one morning shocked (remembering bits and pieces of the dream just before waking up). In the dream I did hear the alarm clock and I was desperately trying to telnet to a port on it. It was terrible. I knew I remembered the address of the alarm clock right, yet could connect to it to turn it off. I must have tried many different routings in my attempts to access the bastard. Finally I woke up and discovered that I would be late again. Hmm, too much configuring messes up your head. :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sethm@pnet1.pnet.com (Seth J. Morabito) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKY *REALLY* BHTLW... Date: 3 Jun 1994 23:48:29 -0400 You know you've REALLY been hacking too long when... Ugh. This JUST happened to me about 10 minutes ago, resulting in my nearly collapsing on the floor laughing... I, like most geeks my age, have a Casio Data Bank watch. One of the spiffy ones with apointments, phone numbers, stop watch and timer, and of course a calculator. Well, I've been using the timers and calculator more than usual today, and I just now noticed that the stop watch was still going long after it's services had been called for. So I stopped it. Then it occured to me that the count-down timer and calculator might also still be going, and I'd better check. And so Help me, at that one moment I had every intention of typing 'ps -aux' on it's tiny little keyboard and seeing what processes I had going. When the realization of what I had been thinking hit, it hit hard. It's been one of those days. Ugh. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.geek From: jwbirdsa@picarefy.picarefy.com (James W. Birdsall) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sat, 4 Jun 1994 19:07:54 GMT ...when you're just sitting there because the network is toast and a phone in a nearby office rings and you wonder how the hell that's possible with the network down... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ande0870@gold.tc.umn.edu (Gregory T Anderson) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Tue, 7 Jun 1994 04:10:29 GMT I had this great dream last night where I was at a grocery store, and I was gnna get some cash from that ATM, and after putting my card in, I proceeded to telnet to a favorite BBS and I remember seeing a user list, and then my mom came over and asked me not to use the ATM for that when there was a line of people behind me. I was trying to type logout, but those little ATM-keys really suck, so it took me a couple of times. Greg "Spends too much time with telnet" Anderson ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: spank@u.washington.edu (Rick Bruch) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 8 Jun 1994 20:25:25 GMT Speaking of dreams, I had a good one a few nights ago. [Warning: Potentially offensive sexual material ahead!] In this dream, I was in bed in my old dorm room and there was this hot sorority girl in the other bed. I knew she wanted me, so I got out of my bed and into hers. We started kissing and stuff, then, as the final act of foreplay before we started bumping uglies, I took a 5 1/4" floppy disk and inserted and withdrew it from her mouth repeatedly. In the dream I thought that the disk inside the plastic sheath was an erogenous zone for her... I'm not making this up, I really had this dream. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: stan.salter@ablelink.org (Stan Salter) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 9 Jun 94 23:12:00 -0500 I was at the Car dealer today and I noticed a spray can sitting beside their computer. it read EMAIL MOTUR. I thought it was a new way of sending messages until I saw the other side in english 'ENGINE ENAMEL'. Then again maybe I was right the first time. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: tovey@mundil.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Matthew Ian TOVEY) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sun, 12 Jun 1994 02:21:06 GMT I was walking past a building the other day when I noticed how shabby it looked: Bricks painted black, and peeling all over. Having spent the previous x days doing script-based ray tracing, I immediately looked for the texture setting to change it to something more appropriate... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: gamble@sugar.NeoSoft.COM (Ben Gamble) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 12 Jun 1994 07:58:26 -0500 ... you see "Subject: Re: Emailing Exes" and think, "Well, there's uuencode, and btoa." And it turns out to be about sending email to your former lovers. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: umennis0@cc.umanitoba.ca (Sean D. Ennis) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW.... Date: 14 Jun 1994 05:04:08 GMT ..you're sitting in the pizza-place, having a conversation with a group of 10 or 12 friends, and you hear a modem (cash register uploading the night's recipts to the head office) make it's charateristic noise, and more than half of you immidiatly recognize the sound and stop talk in so that they can figure out what baud rate it's connecting at. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: robbiew@inviso.com (Robbie Westmoreland) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Date: Tue, 14 Jun 1994 20:29:47 GMT ... you see an announcement that Boeing has just released its 777, and your first thought is that it's world executable. Then you realize that all of Boeing's planes have been world executable; they're just changing the group. It takes a few seconds of wondering why anyone would want to have something world read/write/execute, but wouldn't give the same priviledges to the group before you realize that these are planes, not files or directories... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mchndnd@marie.physik.tu-berlin.de (Neil Dobson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Date: 15 Jun 94 13:31:16 GMT ....the morning after a night spent figuring out how to write postscript programs with a vague notion of reverse Polish and an example file, you hear the garbage truck outside, and struggle to remember whether 'garbage truck' is a singular or a binary operator, and whether there is enough on the stack for it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ab401@freenet.carleton.ca (Paul Tomblin) Subject: YKYBNettingTLW Date: Wed, 15 Jun 1994 15:22:56 GMT I just saw an ad for another major Canadian beer company trying to pretend it's a microbrewery. This time, it's Molson, and the beer they are promoting so heavily without mentioning anywhere that it's from Molson is called "Red Dog". The ad goes on to say that it's a cross between an ale and a lager, what they call an alt.beer. Well, actually they wrote "Alt beer", but I read it as alt.beer. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: jayhan@cs.washington.edu (Jay "Thierry" Han) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 16 Jun 1994 15:31:37 GMT ...you are watching the news, and there's this image insert in the corner that looks interesting, so you reach over to grab the mouse for a FullZoom. PS. One day this will be possible, hopefully... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: rmurray@netcom.com (Roger Murray) Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Sun, 19 Jun 1994 23:21:58 GMT This morning I looked at my wardrobe and realized that most of my shirts were red, green and blue. Just before deciding to buy some shirts I had seen the previous day, I thought for a split second "Why not just convert these shirts to CMYK so I could have four colors instead of only three?" At least I didn't ask the salesperson where the PANTONE-colored shirts were when I got to the store. :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: hwolfe@corona (Herb Wolfe) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Mon, 20 Jun 1994 11:25:49 GMT You hear part of a car commercial mentioning XR7 and wonder why, when X11R6 was just released... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: maddison@laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au (David Maddison) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 20 Jun 1994 05:20:18 GMT You have an itch and you try to move the mouse pointer off the screen so you can scratch it... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: csk@eecs.nwu.edu (Chris Kush) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Mon, 20 Jun 1994 16:05:47 GMT You have a weekend of moving crap into your new apartment ahead, and reflect in all seriousness that it would be a hell of a lot easier just to move the REFERENCES to the boxes than the boxes themselves. Chris "Hey Dad, give me a hand with &refrigerator" Kush ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: iyoung@buddy.wright.edu (Ian Young) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Tue, 21 Jun 1994 01:14:06 GMT When, in that drowsy state just before you fall asleep, your thoughts stray to a girl you just met and you think: "yes, but is she windows compatible?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: iyoung@buddy.wright.edu (Ian Young) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Tue, 21 Jun 1994 01:19:04 GMT You're doing some drafting (on paper) and you mess up and want to erase something, and you reach for your mouse to use "undo" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ai731@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Janice Wright) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Tue, 21 Jun 1994 05:14:04 GMT ...you're sitting in front of your terminal with the manual for the latest upgrade of your favorite software, and you reach out to hit the space bar to see the next page of text... Stop the hard drive, I want to get off! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: woodman@bnr.ca (Dave Woodman) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Date: Tue, 21 Jun 1994 08:30:53 GMT You half wake-up about 45 minutes before the alarm is due, receive a bladder alert, and think setbuf(stream, bladbuf) before going back to sleep. And yes, I've already thougnt of the "flush()" based jokes, and all their relatives! No bad jokes are needed on stream I/O, either. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: nugget@use.com (David McNett) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Date: Tue, 21 Jun 1994 15:31:12 GMT In article <1994Jun21.083053.13967@bnr.ca>, Dave Woodman wrote: >You half wake-up about 45 minutes before the alarm is due, receive a bladder >alert, and think setbuf(stream, bladbuf) before going back to sleep. > >And yes, I've already thougnt of the "flush()" based jokes, and all their >relatives! No bad jokes are needed on stream I/O, either. I guess that would make sex "burst mode" I/O. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: jayhan@cs.washington.edu (Jay "Thierry" Han) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 21 Jun 1994 14:47:44 GMT ... the microwave oven has finished its program, so the light goes off, and you wonder which button you should push to get out of the screen saver. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: jayhan@cs.washington.edu (Jay "Thierry" Han) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 21 Jun 1994 14:49:32 GMT ... the dishwasher makes too much noise, so you try to figure out a way to pipe its output to /dev/nul to make it quiet. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: doug@pluto.towson.edu (Doug McNaught) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 22 Jun 1994 15:33:41 GMT In article jayhan@cs.washington.edu (Jay "Thierry" Han) writes: >... the dishwasher makes too much noise, so you try to figure out a >way to pipe its output to /dev/nul to make it quiet. Hey, you're already doing that! The 'output' is the sudsy water that goes into the drain (/dev/null). The noise is standard error, so that's what you would want to redirect. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: jayhan@cs.washington.edu (Jay "Thierry" Han) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 22 Jun 1994 11:54:19 GMT ... you have the Webster's installed in your system, and want to look up a word (say, aardvark), and type "man aardvark". ... you look for words related to "vitamin", so you type "apropos vitamin". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: jayhan@cs.washington.edu (Jay "Thierry" Han) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 22 Jun 1994 14:28:42 GMT ... you're programming that stupid VCR and you wish you could modify its .Xdefaults or .emacs or maybe a .vcrrc file to change the menu layout. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: STUBRADFOWC@MERCUR.USAO.EDU (Bill Bradford) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 22 Jun 1994 18:41:07 -0500 You Know You've Been Hacking Too Long When: A friend tells you, "My phone number is xxx-3270" and you think, "Wow... IBM terminal.." You change your PIN to an Intel CPU number designation so it's easy to remember. You Know You've Been Playing DOOM Too Long When: The first time you walk into a building, you think, "Wow... This would make a great PWAD level.." or "WAIT a minute! How'd they do THAT with the current 1.2 engine?" (All of these are true, esp. the YKYBPDTLW ones; a friend and I spend our spare time in our 8am class designing WADs..) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: hartmans@bga.com (Sam Hartman) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 22 Jun 1994 19:35:33 -0500 about a month before graduating from high school, I was at an award presentation banquit. They told us all to line up. I turned to the person next to me, who I also knew was interested in computers, and said, "Should we settle for bubble, or try to explain quick sort?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: crosby@rintintin.Colorado.EDU (Matthew Crosby) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 23 Jun 1994 09:34:27 GMT You know you've been wiring nets too long: Someone asked me today where someone else was, and I answered with the subnet number of the lab he was in rather then the name--"I think he's in 202 or maybe 250." (as opposed to room 1-5 or whatever) Whats scary is that the other person didn't need me to clarify and it took me about ten minutes before I realised what I was doing. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: roth@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Roth Mark Daniel) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 23 Jun 1994 13:11:37 GMT ...you are thinking of accepting a summer position involving some documentation work, and you think, "Yeah, but would that look good on my man page?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: mcv@inter.NL.net (Miguel Carrasquer) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Thu, 23 Jun 1994 13:43:48 GMT YKYBUseNettingTLW... the sports commentator on TV makes a completely bogus remark on the proper way to pronounce the name of Romanian soccer-star Gheorghe Hagi, and you wonder why there's no SHIFT-F on your remote, to really flame him to pieces.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mje@pookie.pass.wayne.edu (Michael J. Edelman) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 23 Jun 1994 18:08:34 GMT ...you're driving home from the office late at night, and you're puzzled as to why not only doesn't the brightness knob on the dashboard change the brightness of the image in front of you, but there's no contrast knob, either... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: cs4ev@herts.ac.uk (Veal) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Date: 24 Jun 1994 12:44:56 GMT When doing some networks work and someone starts talking about the off-side rule in football (Soccer!). I start trying to work out which layer in the OSI model the off-side rule should be..... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: csdsd@blaze.trentu.ca (Dell) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Date: Sat, 25 Jun 1994 03:25:32 GMT In article <42362e0ad3c7@sirius.herts.ac.uk>, Veal wrote: >When doing some networks work and someone starts talking about the >off-side rule in football (Soccer!). I start trying to work out >which layer in the OSI model the off-side rule should be..... And you worry that someone might try to convert the Sweden vs Russia game to greyscale... (why are they all wearing white?)... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: armb@setanta.demon.co.uk (Alan Braggins) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 24 Jun 1994 09:17:44 GMT In article <2ualcl$itb@ivy.bga.com> hartmans@bga.com (Sam Hartman) writes: > presentation banquit. They told us all to line up. I turned to the person > next to me, who I also knew was interested in computers, and said, "Should > we settle for bubble, or try to explain quick sort?" You see this post and think "Why didn't he allow for the parallisation?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: cpu@chac.win.net (Kip Crosby) Date: Fri, 24 Jun 1994 18:04:00 GMT Subject: YKYBHTLW... I was on the phone listening to an answering-machine tape, and part of what it said was important, and I stared helplessly at the keypad thinking "oh gawd, how can I capture this to the printer." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: agrino@enkidu.mic.cl (Andres Grino Brandt) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sat, 25 Jun 1994 18:11:40 CST When you begin to think about kill files for your phones and door's bell. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: pgut1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Peter Gutmann) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 26 Jun 1994 02:03:49 GMT ...you want to demonstrate the wierd ringer on a new phone, and dial 127-0-0-1. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: iagoldbe@calum.csclub.uwaterloo.ca (Ian Goldberg) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Sun, 26 Jun 1994 22:52:21 GMT I was reading a book today (yes! On paper!) and it mentioned Descartes. I thought, "Shouldn't that be all lowercase?" (descartes is the name of one of the major computers around here...) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: hw41652@is1e.vub.ac.be (Van Deun Dirk) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 27 Jun 1994 19:13:13 GMT You read that the Greek historian Hekataios boasted to have a god 16 generations up in his family tree, and you think: such a round number, that must be bogus. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: dpolicar@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (David Policar) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 28 Jun 1994 08:48:54 GMT One of your friends just gets to US, and while going to your home from the airport he sees a Getty gas station and says "Wow, I think I have been using Unix for too long..." and everyone on the car laughs without any further explanation... :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: pietzcke@mibm.ruf.uni-freiburg.de (Tim Pietzcker) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL... Date: 13 Jul 1994 08:10:02 GMT ...when you read rot13'd articles and don't even notice it... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: berndm@cs.monash.edu.au (Bernd U Meyer) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Wed, 13 Jul 1994 12:47:43 GMT pietzcke@mibm.ruf.uni-freiburg.de (Tim Pietzcker) writes: >...when you read rot13'd articles and don't even notice it... ... when you read the sentence "he looked at the unclouded sky" in a Clarke novel, and misread it as "he look at the uuencoded sky" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Perry.Rovers@kub.nl (Perry Rovers) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Wed, 13 Jul 1994 16:59 met When you're on holiday in Spain and seeing a fire extinguisher with the brandname 'Unix', you think: huh? I didn't know that brand existed, maybe it's old, but one wonders ... anyone ever hacked a fire extinguisher? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: mike@bob.sc.colostate.edu (Mike Loseke) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Wed, 13 Jul 1994 16:13:45 GMT When you finish paging through the new copy of your favorite magazine and think to yourself "Why didn't I just grep for what I was looking for instead of catting the whole thing?". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: teney931@cs.uidaho.edu (Aric TenEyck) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKY*R*BHTLW... Date: 21 Jul 1994 01:17:03 GMT I work at McDonald's. We have a number of different beepers, buzzers, and so on to tell us when the food is done cooking. About two weeks ago, I transfered from a different McDonald's. At that one, the meat steamers made a high pitched beeping noise when they needed more water. At the one I work at now, the fryers for McNuggets(tm), fish, and so on make the same noise when it is time to take the food out. I have had problems with this, because when I heard the noise in the background, I would usually ignore it, because the steamers still have plenty of water when they start beeping for more. However, taking the food out of the fryers is a fairly high priority thing. To solve this problem, I just told myself that I needed to set up the interrupt vector for that beeping to point to the fryer area of my brain. The really sad part is that it worked. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: dragondm@netcom.com (Michael McGovern) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 21 Jul 1994 06:27:05 GMT You change your E-mail address, and begin breifly worrying about leaving someone with an invalid pointer. :> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: hwolfe@corona (Herb Wolfe) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Thu, 21 Jul 1994 13:48:21 GMT When, while on vacation, sitting in a computer lab at a school you don't go to and don't work at, you get asked computer questions. twice. in the same night. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: wilson@nutec.com (Wilson Roberto Afonso) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Fri, 22 Jul 1994 02:33:39 GMT hwolfe@corona (Herb Wolfe) writes: >When, while on vacation, sitting in a computer lab at a school you don't go to >and don't work at, you get asked computer questions. twice. in the same night. I think that what shows that YBHTL is your presence in a computer lab at a school you don't go to and don't work at *while on vacation*. You being asked computer questions is irrelevant here... -Wilson (who already moved to the following article twice while trying to turn to the next page on a manual by hitting space (in the last 5 min.)) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ai731@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Janice Wright) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Mon, 18 Jul 1994 05:09:32 GMT A friend and I were studying, and she had a No. 2 lead pencil in her hand. After a little while she asked me: "Do you have a digital pencil on you? I can't think properly with an analog one." I handed her a mechanincal pencil and we both went back to work, not thinking it the least bit strange... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: dhyams@autelca.ascom.ch (David Hyams) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Fri, 22 Jul 1994 09:51:27 GMT ... when you're in the middle of a discussion, and you have to stop to execute the SIGPISS signal catcher. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: terra@diku.dk (Morten Welinder) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Fri, 22 Jul 1994 12:51:12 GMT >... when you're in the middle of a discussion, and you have to stop >to execute the SIGPISS signal catcher. ... when you receive a SIGPISS signal, but you're in a context where that signal is blocked. ... when you come across a book that actually starts with chapter 0 and you just don't notice. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: mike@bob.sc.colostate.edu () Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Fri, 22 Jul 1994 13:56:36 GMT ...when you're trying to link your roomate's socks to /dev/null so they don't fill up the living room floor. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jburgin@unixmail.haverford.edu (Joshua M. Burgin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: 22 Jul 1994 16:47:30 GMT ....When someone on TV says "Go ahead, You're Allowed" And you suddenly wonder, since when did Kibo start appearing on TV? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: wturner@acorn.co.uk (William Turner) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL..... Date: 22 Jul 1994 16:40:16 +0100 When you are on a bus/train, and you mentally stack people as they get on & it annoys you if they don't get off in the reverse order :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: tomv@vismag.limmat.net.ch (Thomas Voirol) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Date: 22 Jul 94 08:58:45 CET ...you read an ad from a kitchen appliances supplier advertising "The kitchen steamer" and immediately ask yourself what on earth anyone would want to back up to tape in a kitchen. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: tomv@vismag.limmat.net.ch (Thomas Voirol) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Date: 24 Jul 94 18:51:39 CET One from my C64-days: Whenever I come upon a word that ends with a $-sign, for example a system table on our mainframe that's called tgp$, I pronounce it tgp-string. In my heaviest 64-hacker-times, I couldn't even parse prices in American catalogs correctly. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: benco@soda.berkeley.edu (Ben Cottrell) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 24 Jul 1994 22:42:44 GMT Now (another 7 years down the line) whenever I see a * (indicating a footnote) I parse it as "pointer" and wonder why it doesn't come *before* the word. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: chambles@whale.st.usm.edu (John William Chambless) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL (parsing real life) Date: 23 Jul 1994 09:03:09 -0500 In article <774643261snz@arcglade.demon.co.uk>, Frank Wales wrote: >ObYKYBHTL: I plugged a phone into our new flat's phone socket, then >waited for the first of the spooled phone calls to come through... > My first reaction to this: ps ax |grep phoned YKYB using a mdeom at home TL when: The other day at work, I was logged into one of the Suns from my PC when a co-worker picked up the phone on my desk. I pancicked, thinking, "now I'll drop carrier!". Fortunately, the phones aren't on our ethernet. (Wish they were, they'd work more often!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Morten.Sickel@nrpa.no (Morten Sickel) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL (parsing real life) Date: Mon, 25 Jul 1994 16:09:26 YKYB working too long to have your modem working when: Biking home from work, I discoverd a fast approaching car when I was about to cross a street. I thought "It doesn't matter if i chrash, I'm using error correction"........ As I am posting this, I suddenly recogniced the difference between matter and information transfer...... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: abw@bu.edu (Al Wesolowsky) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL (parsing real life) Date: 25 Jul 1994 14:42:50 GMT My snailbox on Saturday had a big envelope with a printed message congratulating me on being a "New GUI Owner." Thinking that perhaps Bill Gates had decided to give me a slice of Chicago's profits, I opened up the envelope to learn that it concerned the University's new Group Universal Insurance policy. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: simond@perception.manawatu.gen.nz (Simon Dawson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Sun, 24 Jul 94 22:24:01 +1200 When you prefer to query someone 4000 miles away about the meaning of a word, coz he knows, rather than get up and walk 4 metres to the bookshelf to check one of those RL dictionaries.. When you realize you haven't called friends for weeks, because everytime you remember, it's 3am, or 3pm and they're asleep or at work, so you start mentally debugging a system for queueing messages, to automatically call them at a specific time.. before you realise it's supposed to be interactive, and you don't have the speech h/w or s/w... When you are 'trying' to have sex, and she says no, and you think.. "I'll just take a copy while this version is being used by the sleep process, work with that instead, then merge the differences when I've finished".. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ingvar@ki.se (Ingvar Mattsson) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Mon, 25 Jul 1994 08:52:22 GMT ... when, due to grave misunderstandings, a girl you are really fond of, stops seeing you and you think "Uh? Connection refused from foreign host"... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBRAFCWY*S*HBHTLW... From: alien@acheron.wanganui.gen.nz (Ross Smith) Date: Mon, 25 Jul 94 21:36:58 GMT+12 (That's "You know you've been reading alt.folklore.computers when you *should* have been hacking too long when...") ... You look at a book whose cover prominently displays "Bjarne Stroustrup" and "C++", and your first thought is, "Well, where's the *rest* of his Geek Code?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: terra@diku.dk (Morten Welinder) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Tue, 26 Jul 1994 07:25:40 GMT ...when you think of an infant's cry as a non-maskable interrupt request, quickly suspend your current task, and rush to serve. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: acker@tfs.com (James Acker) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL (parsing real life) Date: Tue, 26 Jul 1994 13:18:00 GMT Taking a test in transistor theory using an unprogrammable scientific calculator. 2 hours of constantly having to "hold my place" as I had to convert milliamps, millivolts, etc.. If someone in class sneezed at the wrong time I'd sigh and start at teh beginning again, calculating measurements at various points in a transistor circuit. After the test, on my way to the car I glance at my watch and think.....0945 "now is that amps or volts??" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: dps@kryten.atinc.com (Douglas P. Shapter x329) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 26 Jul 1994 09:09:38 -0400 you see a license plate 'RFC-023' and say 'Oh, that's an early one.' (Were they called IEN's back then? ) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: neuwirth@ophelia.tuwien.ac.at (K. Neuwirth) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTL Date: 26 Jul 1994 19:39:50 GMT When you talk about crepes ("grep"s) and don't notice that the topic of the conversation is food, not unix. Or you walk on the street, notice a license plate BASH 1 and think that that guy must be a big GNU fan (no, he is working for a company whose name begins with Baschek or something). ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: stano@swh1.swh.sk (Stano Meduna) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTL Date: Wed, 27 Jul 1994 07:51:42 GMT .. when you call a lift before you lock your home door, so the I/O is in progress while you are working on the door. .. when you are rewiring the office and think of how good it would be to replace old yellow cable with some coffee-distributing device. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: wturner@acorn.co.uk (William Turner) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBRNNTLW..... Date: 27 Jul 1994 10:19:23 +0100 ...you read a sheet of paper, and then remind yourself to mark it as unread so you can read it again later... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ablock@nubis.rutgers.edu (Aaron Block) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKTYHBWTLW... Date: 27 Jul 94 13:03:30 GMT You Know That You have Been Webbing To Long When... Everywhere you see an underline word or sentence you want to click on it to follow the link. Even on TV and in the newspaper. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: hsm@unislc.slc.unisys.com (Helge Moulding) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Wed, 27 Jul 1994 17:42:52 GMT YKYBHTL when... You hope someone asks you about your new hard drive at social gatherings. The dentist bugs you about WP questions while cleaning your teeth. Your D&D game is interrupted by lengthy discussions of C++ classes. You subscribe to a comp. news server. It's five am when you look up from your PC and realize it's time to go to work. Computer games? I don't have room for no steenking computer games! You take a computer book along to read in case you get bored. All your friends program computers. You tell your daughter to study BASIC starting in chapter 12, because the previous chapters are too simple. (Your daughter thinks you're nuts...) The only family member who doesn't bug you with computer questions is your old man, and that's because HBHEL... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: rkk@kirchhof.com (Randy Kirchhof) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 28 Jul 1994 02:13:10 GMT In article <3131v0$3ac@kryten.atinc.com>, Douglas P. Shapter x329 wrote: >you see a license plate 'RFC-023' and say 'Oh, that's an early >one.' (Were they called IEN's back then? ) Or you see any license plate beginning with an "R" and try to parse the sendmail rewrite rule off of it... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sashley@indirect.com (Scott A. Ashley) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 28 Jul 1994 07:53:40 GMT You're in the Gymnasium and want to know what athletic shoes have to do with Application Specific Integrated CircuitS. ..But then, I habitually use locker # 486 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: slavins@psy.man.ac.uk (Simon Slavin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBRNNTLW..... Date: 28 Jul 1994 13:15:23 GMT You hear the TV say "We're Animany Dave DeLaney Animaniacs" and look up real quick wondering what picture they used with the name. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: s921878@minyos.xx.rmit.EDU.AU (Daniel John Lee Parnell) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYHBHTL Date: 29 Jul 1994 04:06:18 GMT ... when you see a sign that says "New developments in Hepititus C" and think it is advertising a programming seminar.. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: smoke@cs.pitt.edu (Sheldon Smoker) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: 29 Jul 1994 06:08:26 GMT OBYNYBHTLW: Your friend moves in upstaris in your apartment bldg, he is logged in, you want to talk to him, you do 'talk friend' he comes downstairs and you say "hey, get back up there I'm trying to talk to you!" :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: slavins@psy.man.ac.uk (Simon Slavin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: 29 Jul 1994 13:13:36 GMT ... when the lab technician for the department's BBC EcoNet says "That jerk of a lecturer you had last term changed the administration password and then forgot his new one. I heard you'd hacked the system ... would you mind changing it back for me ?" and you have, and you don't, so you do. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: samir@donald.cc.utexas.edu (Samir Mahendra) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBRNNTLW..... Date: 31 Jul 1994 23:53:37 -0500 OBYKYBHTLW: While playing "Magic: The Gathering" with some friends for the first time, you come across an Interrupt card, and with no further explanation, you look at each other and start laughing. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: acbul1@penfold.cc.monash.edu.au (acb) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBRNNTLW..... Date: 1 Aug 1994 06:07:42 GMT ObYKYBRNNTLW: You read John Bell's essay on nonlocality and can't help but laugh whenever you see the word "beable". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: wilson@nutec.com (Wilson Roberto Afonso) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sat, 30 Jul 1994 06:14:50 GMT ... you want to throw away an empty can of Coke, and your first instinct is looking at the wastebasket icon on your screen (happened to me; I even reached for the mouse before I noticed what I was doing) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jmc@ksu.ksu.edu (James Michael Chacon) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 30 Jul 1994 22:11:52 -0500 Or you are working along and notice the screen is a bit bright and while moving between windows remember the controls at the bottom of the monitor. So, I tried to move my mouse down to them and turn them :-) After smacking it into the bottom of the screen 2 or 3 times, I felt a little stupid :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: roberson@hamer.ibd.nrc.ca (Walter Roberson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 1 Aug 1994 05:36:25 GMT You know you've been hacking too long when... = You are thinking about different covers which have been done for a particular song, and you mentally refer to them as different "implimentations" of the song. = You realize that you've left the milk out all night, and think, "No problem, it's just the instantiation of the milk-carton class. I'll apply a destructor to it, garbage collect, and CONS up a new one!" = You don't go sit around cafes late at night reading poetry, but you do go sit around cafes late at night reading ANSI C, POSIX, or C++ books. = You smile when you notice that the cafe not only has an listing for "soft drinks" on its menu, but also has a separate listing for Jolt Cola. = You wonder why the cafe menu unfolds instead of being pull-down or pop-up or roll-over. = A software company you deal with snail-mails out a new 12-page manual to all of its users, but deliberately skips you, figuring that you will understand the software completely the first time you look at it, so they might as well save the postage. In fact, they haven't sent you any manuals for years, as the first time they sent you a manual, you corrected it and sent it back to them. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: acbul1@penfold.cc.monash.edu.au (acb) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL (spontaneous coding) Date: 1 Aug 1994 05:59:23 GMT YKYBHTLW...... ..... you spontaneously compose code in your head for no reason. ..... when that code is assembly language. Happened to me last night. In the shower, I found myself coding a LALR(0) parser in 6502 assembly language. Don't ask me why. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: giannini@nova.umd.edu (Jodi Giannini) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: 26 Jul 1994 18:21:18 -0400 Today someone in the lab came up to me, and said 'Do you have any applications?' And I began to rattle them off, rapid fire: 'lotusquattroprowordperfectexceleratorharvardgraphicswindows...' when he interrupted and said 'No, I mean *job* applications.' I very sheepishly went into the office, and got him one. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: corcoran@dewey.icd.teradyne.com (Travis Corcoran) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBRNNTLW..... Date: 01 Aug 1994 17:35:14 GMT ObYKYBHTLW: you discover Emacs' abbrev minor-mode, use it enthusiastically for a week or two, and then go to write something with a pen and paper for the 1st time in weeks ( this in itself may be a "YKYBHTLW..." ...) and are shocked when the "w" that you've just written does not expand into "with". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: eijkhout@cupid.cs.utk.edu (Victor Eijkhout) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 01 Aug 1994 20:54:03 GMT A friend and I used the following soundless communication during classical music concerts. If we thought a certain performer stank, we would (in perfect silence) make the gesture of press index finger down, move hand over to the right, lift index finger. When I first invented this, I had to draw a picture of a screen with a trash can on the back of the program to tell my friend what I was trying to convey. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: stets@stets.stgt.sub.org (Thomas Stets) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Mon, 01 Aug 94 22:36:47 GMT Last night I watched my mother lock the kitchen door when she opened the refrigerator, because the kitchen door would slam into the fridge door when someone would walk in unexpectedly. (Yes, I know there's a bug in the kitchen layout...) Anyway, I was wandering whether there was any way to give a signal outside the kitchen door indicating the fridge was open. And my first thought was: Why don't we just place a copy of the fridge light outside the kitchen door? (But I soon realized that a copy was not the right way. You'd need a link to the light. :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: plbuschm@nyx10.cs.du.edu (Peter L. Buschman) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW..... Date: 2 Aug 1994 08:26:24 -0600 YKYBHTL...when 1. The sysadmin names his sun after you. 2. New users are convinced your last name is root. 3. You start to believe your last name is root. 4. You start to believe your own reputation. 5. Your programs make sense when read. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: dunnc@ucsub.Colorado.EDU (Colin J. Dunn) Subject: YKYBHTLW (yet again)... Date: Tue, 2 Aug 1994 15:01:03 GMT You know when you've been hacking too long when... 1. You meet a smart person and want to pop in a disk and download his/her brain. 2. You see one of those tops from a yogurt container that is clear in the middle, with a blue ring around the outside, and think that it is a write-enable ring for a 9-track tape... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: sorcerer@netcom.com (Merlin) Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: Tue, 2 Aug 1994 16:20:11 GMT YKYBHTLW - Several people at work ask you questions at about the same time and you point to each in turn and say, "IRQ 1, IRQ 2, IRQ 3, ..." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: root@foobar.hanse.de (Jens Stark) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL... Date: 1 Aug 1994 16:44:22 +0200 ...Your wife has almost finished to put the laundry on the line when she yells "D***! We've got a parity error with the socks !" and you walk over to the washing machine to find the missing one... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: lstowell@pyrnova.mis.pyramid.com (Lon Stowell) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW (yet again)... Date: 2 Aug 1994 16:57:01 -0700 >You know when you've been hacking too long when... You hear the phrase "X Terminal" and can't decide whether you are hearing about a device or the O.J. Simpson story. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: pburgess@netcom.com (Phillip Burgess) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Wed, 3 Aug 1994 22:25:36 GMT ... you're washing a car (someone else's, of course), and you think to yourself, "this is the 90's, surely someone makes a cordless hose by now." ... you think for a moment that front lawns would only have to be about two feet deep if they'd just do it hydroponically, stacked on shelves. ... you figure that flat-panel displays for desktop computers will never catch on, because then people wouldn't have a place to put action figures. ... you install rear-view mirrors on your monitor so you can see people coming and hide the fact that you're nn'ing instead of doing serious work. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jburgin@unixmail.haverford.edu (Joshua M. Burgin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 4 Aug 1994 02:56:33 GMT ... You install a second phone line (or third) not because you get so many calls, but because you want to remain logged in permanently and still be able to make/receive voice calls Bonus points: You make/receive such voice calls, and continue to read NN, FTP, etc. Super Prize: You do the above, AND live alone, AND rarely receive more than 5 calls per day. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: leivo@cs.Helsinki.FI (Mika Leivo) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL Date: 31 Jul 1994 11:17:44 GMT When you see somebody you don't know making a mess of what he is doing and you think: Hmm, that must be a Micro$oft product. And realice only minutes later that : A) Micro$oft doesn't make people B) If it did, they wouldn't live / walk for very long. When you tend to tell your friends: If only I got a couple of hours with the source-code of world, preferably in C, and a quick recompile/reboot. And on the same lines: You make wrong assertions, and then think: This is a bug in a systems-program, I must fix it and have a reboot And then you do just that. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: s9406182@yallara.cs.rmit.OZ.AU (Andrew John Shelton) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 5 Aug 1994 02:29:34 GMT When looking at a streetsign that I hoped pointed to a street running across the street I wanted. "It doesn't matter that the names don't match, there's still another level of indirection" I don't know if indirection is even the correct term, but I could almost see the * . ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: jct@embed1e (John C. Tenyson) Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Fri, 5 Aug 1994 13:50:34 GMT YKYBHTLW... You are given a project that is supposed to take all semster and you learn the language and write the project the night before and still ace the project.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: rsf@mother.idx.com (Rob Freundlich) Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Fri, 5 Aug 1994 16:44:26 GMT Someone has set up a "movie-phone" in the Boston area (333-FILM), where you can call in and find out where movies are playing, what times, and reserve tickets via credit card. The most common way of using it is to type the first three letters of the movie title on your phonepad, and go from there. Yesterday, "Clear and Present Danger", the new Tom Clancy movie, opened here and a friend and I wanted to go see it. She dialed up 333-FILM on her cellular phone, listened for minute, punched in three numbers, hung up, turned to me and said "they don't have it." I asked if she had typed the three letters right, and she showed me on the phone's display that it said 257. Took us both a minute to realize that "Clear" is *not* spelled CLR to most people! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: faught@convex.com (Danny R. Faught) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL Date: 5 Aug 1994 09:49:45 -0500 YKYBHTLW you run into an acquaintance at work who asks "How's it going?" and you answer "Too busy, I wish I could fork myself." And it takes you a while to figure out that that could be interepreted at least three different ways. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: iyoung@buddy.wright.edu (Ian Young) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sat, 6 Aug 1994 22:06:27 GMT somebody writes "because it's winter here in .au" and you know where .au is...... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: paulp@nic.cerf.net (Paul Phillips) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 7 Aug 1994 01:17:00 GMT In article iyoung@buddy.wright.edu (Ian Young) writes: >somebody writes "because it's winter here in .au" >and you know where .au is...... ...when you read the above and think that somebody is complaining that the cold weather is interfering with their sound card performance. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: micha@dialis.hacktic.nl (Micha van der Burg) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sun, 07 Aug 1994 15:07:00 +0100 When you read a local 'For Sale' ng and read a subject "FS : Jaguar XJ12" and you think "Wow, They sell those 64-bit gamecomp. from atari 2nd hand already??". You quickly read the message and discover that the ad is about a 13 year old brittish car called Jaguar... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: dbryant@netcom.com (David K. Bryant) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Tue, 9 Aug 1994 04:36:15 GMT You glance at the cover of a Basia CD and your mind registers BASICA. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: kirrilyr@union3.su.swin.edu.au (Kirrily Robert - SINN Editor) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL Date: 9 Aug 1994 23:47:35 GMT A friend was complaining yesterday about lack of sleep... "But you had at least an hour's more downtime than I did!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: grisha@athena.mit.edu (Cristobal Joseevich Junta) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 11 Aug 1994 12:30:19 GMT ...when you think "gang bang" is a Scheme function ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: marcusd@lsl.co.uk Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 11 Aug 94 14:41:22 +0100 ...When your modem breaks, your college computer centre closes at 2030, its past midnight, youve consumed the best part of a bottle of mezcal, and you just HAVE to get a mail message out. PIRs, pressure pads and reed relays cant stop a determined hacker weaned on Z80 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: duncan@smug.student.adelaide.edu.au (Slakko) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 12 Aug 1994 03:19:31 GMT YKYBHTLW... You are taking notes in a lecture. You stop highlighting before the last full stop because you think "If I highlight the full stop, the cursor will be on highlight and I'll have to turn it off from the menu." Only took me about 0.25 seconds to notice, but still AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH! Duncan "M-tp" Richer ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: umennis0@cc.umanitoba.ca (Sean D. Ennis) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYHBHTLW... Date: 12 Aug 1994 13:33:29 GMT You're listening to the radio before you go to sleep, and a particularily annoying anouncer comes on to tell you his oppinions on life, what the next piece (of music) will be, and it's entire history - and you think there's got to be a way to parse out these headers and just get the name of the piece. I like the music, otherwise I'd just throw him into a kill file. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jelson@condor.cs.jhu.edu (Jeremy Elson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Clarinet music for sale or free Date: 12 Aug 1994 10:26:17 -0400 >I have a whole bunch of beginning to intermediate-level clarinet music You know you've been hacking too long when you try to figure out why on earth Clarinet would be producing music until you realize it's the name of a musical intstrument, too. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: pgut1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Peter Gutmann) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 15 Aug 1994 11:17:20 GMT Actually, YKYBHWTLW your modem breaks, etc etc, so you pull out one of your other modems, fire up one of the other computers, and dial into one of the other systems you have an account on, and send the mail from there (with forged headers if necessary to make it look like it came from the first system). I snuck out of hospital once during a week-long stay just so I could get home (about an hour away) and catch up on mail and news. Hmm, maybe this thread has drifted into the YKYNeedPsychiatricHelp area... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mtearle@tartarus.uwa.edu.au (Mark Tearle) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYHBUVTLW.... Date: 15 Aug 1994 11:38:42 GMT You know you have been using vi too long when .... ... in the middle of a maths lecture you start thinking now I'll start pressing the % key to check if I have the right number of brackets. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: amilton@cssc-woll.tansu.com.au (TheJester) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYHBHTLW... Date: 17 Aug 1994 09:46:59 +1000 you are looking through a list of FTP sites and see ftp.cdrom.com, and wonder where ftp.carom.com is... I hate lisp, I can't get my mind around it, Prolog I like... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: kenbrody@cloud9.net (Kenneth Brody) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBDOSingTLW... Date: 17 Aug 1994 19:39:42 GMT You know you've been DOS'ing too long when: You see all of these net-addresses with ".COM" and wonder why there aren't any ".EXE" addresses. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: aus001@axp1.rrz.Uni-Koeln.DE (Dionisius) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYHBHTLW Date: 22 Aug 1994 10:19:30 GMT .. you wipe the statically accumulated dust from the screen and then think "now I'll have to do this for every multiscreen". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 21 Aug 1994 19:56:00 +0200 From: Timm@gaillimh.oche.de (Timm Steinbeck) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYHBHTLW ... you read a sentence in an Asimov novel saying "Are you groping for paranoia" as "Are you grepping ..." and about a page later wonder how he came to know the term grep when he wrote that novel and turn back to check up what he actually wrote. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: provers@kub.nl (Perry Rovers) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKWYBUCTLW Date: 24 Aug 1994 20:21:10 GMT You Know Whne You've Been Using Computers Too Long When: you see a truck with 'Sunware' on the side and you think: Sun has bought Novell! (it turned out to be a plastics manufacturer) on a related note: I read an example in an Operations Research book today that started with this line: 'U.S. Labs manufactures mechanical heart valves from the heart valves of pigs.' This sheds a whole new light on Unix for me. ;-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mchapman@uoguelph.ca (Mike Chapman) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL Date: 29 Aug 1994 05:18:25 GMT I was reading an L. Neil Smith novel (I think it was _Tom_Paine_Maru_ but I am not sure) and he kept calling the Bad Guys 'Hamiltonians'. It is supposed to mean that they are in favour of Big Government, but the first few times I read the term all I could think about was a bunch of salesmen running from town to town on a map trying to find the shortest circuit. Made it tough to take them seriously, sheesh! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mskala@IslandNet.com (Matthew Skala) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Ray-tracing too long.. Date: 29 Aug 1994 16:28:57 -0700 YKYBRTTL... When you look at the clouds and think, "Hmm, they should turn up the anti-aliasing on that texture.." Happened to me! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: dpe@saucer.cc.umr.edu (David Edwards) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Tue, 30 Aug 1994 14:15:43 GMT Nah, you have REALLY been hacking to long when you go to look up someone's name in a phonebook... and you think "OK, I'll grep it for ".... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: normat@rpi.edu (Tim Norman) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 30 Aug 94 16:20:35 Perhaps even worse, this happened to me today. I was in the computer lab, and I started wondering if I had locked the door to my dormroom. Well, I have my PC with a SLIP connection running Linux in my dorm room, so I instantly thought, "No problem. I'll just telnet to my machine and ask it the status of the door..." Things like that SHOULD work! :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ddmiller@austin.ibm.com (David D. Miller) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Tue, 30 Aug 1994 18:43:35 GMT you're discussing cooking disasters with your SO, and refer to a "bad implementation of a recipie." -David (Who should spend more time cooking, and less hacking....) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: eli@YALE.EDU (Eli Whitney Museum) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 31 Aug 1994 19:45:01 GMT YKYBHTLW... yer [roomate, SO, relative, etc] is really bothering you, and you think "that's ok, i'll just redirect [his, her] output to /dev/null". I tried it once...didn't go over very well :( Maybe in a few decades... :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: julian@cs.uq.oz.au (Julian Orbach) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW.... Date: 3 Sep 1994 05:54:26 GMT ... you're reading Angelo Keene's message titled "Re: Found in the code"... >At my first job, I was programming in CMS-2M and AN/AYK assembly language >for a major defense contractor which will remain nameless (AV/8-B, anyone?) ^^^ ... and you try to work out what sort of smiley it is. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: root@foobar.hanse.de (Jens Stark) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 5 Sep 1994 09:05:29 +0200 We got hold of a copy of Aladdin. One of the first remarks I made on that film was during the escape scene : "Hey, That is a nice implementation of a flying carpet, isn't it ?" Later, my wife responded with : "Well, this Djinni could use some delay calls, he beats my pattern recognition algorithm..." AH ! The joy of living with intelligent beings... :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: lrucker@parcplace.com (Lee Ann Rucker) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Tue, 06 Sep 1994 11:10:38 -0800 I was trying to decide how to get to I-280 from midway between Wolfe & Saratoga-Sunnyvale, and thought "I'll take Wolfe, the interface is cleaner" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.internet.media-coverage From: frank@arcglade.demon.co.uk (Frank Wales) Subject: YKYBLTHFIRITMW Date: Wed, 7 Sep 1994 23:44:56 +0000 You know you've been looking too hard for Internet references in the media when, in the middle of a large article on recent developments in Northern Ireland, you spot a graph with the word INTERNET on it, and wonder what daft relationship some hack has worked into the story. Then you look again, and see the word INTERNMENT instead. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: bruceab@teleport.com (Bruce Baugh) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL Date: 12 Sep 1994 00:17:59 -0700 I found myself explaining to an immunologist that some of my neurological symptoms felt like someone had removed the DoEvents line from a bunch of sub-routines. Amusingly enough, he's an amateur programmer, and knew immediately what I was on about. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: aaronw@wam.umd.edu (Aaron Weintraub) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 11 Sep 1994 16:15:54 GMT too long when.... you walk through a drugstore and see an ad for a "Mead Wireless Notebook.. now only $2 each" and wonder what in hell they're talking about. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: bh@access1.digex.net (Bill Harrison) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 11 Sep 1994 20:46:54 -0400 You want to reinstall your ears after a loud concert. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: benco@soda.CSUA.Berkeley.EDU (Ben Cottrell) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 12 Sep 1994 05:56:12 GMT I was walking to class a few days ago, and the door to my building was propped open. Without thinking, I walked through it, and immediately thought "Oh no! I've directly accessed a low-memory global, and not gone through the proper access function! What will happen to me when the next release of the OS gets installed?" Of course, I *should* have just gotten a segmentation fault, because the referenced address would not have been in my page table, but I had been trying to program something on the Macintosh previously. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: wisej@acf4.nyu.edu (Jim Wise) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 15 Sep 1994 06:51:05 GMT In alt.folklore.computers you write: > >I wrote an essay in English class last week, and to underline something I >did it just like on netmail, _like_ _this_. Mmm... I wanted to write a long dash the other day, and wrote two hyphen- sized dashes for it... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: iyoung@discover.wright.edu (Ian Young) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 15 Sep 1994 14:01:56 GMT ...You want to write a shell script to automatically delete a user who shows up to bother you with "droll small talk" (as opposed to "droll Smalltalk") every morning. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: samir@bashful.cc.utexas.edu (Samir Mahendra) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKTYBRAFCTLW Date: 16 Sep 1994 09:58:45 -0500 ...you see an add for the Di$covery card (NO inteREST for ONE year)(*), and wonder when Robert McElwaine started to work for them. (*) I'm not sure about this, but it was along those lines. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: irish@eskimo.com (S. O'Connor) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 16 Sep 1994 11:12:25 GMT ..."The washing machine is broke and could you please fix it?", and you wonder what bug has gotten into it now.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: joev@garden.WPI.EDU (Joseph W. Vigneau) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 20 Sep 1994 02:23:32 GMT ...when walking home from the computer center, you notice the oil spots on the pavement closely resemble a Mandelbrot fractal... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: zblaxell@miranda.uwaterloo.ca (Zygo Blaxell) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Tue, 20 Sep 1994 12:35:31 GMT ...you admin some Linux systems, and someone asks you today's date while you are at your terminal. Without thinking, you type 'uname -r; uptime'. ...you get the calendar date right with the above method. ...you get the date wrong, then realize you're on a Solaris system. Doh! ...you're correct within a week anyway. ...you're asked the time of day, so you iconify some windows and see where the sun is on your 'xearth' root window toy. ...you're asked about the weather and do the same thing. ...you find you are more receptive to other's emotions in a talk session than in person or over the phone ("You're typing slowly and in all lowercase...are you mad at me?"). ...you go to an amusement park and participate in one of those activities that result in stuffed animals if you have decent hand-eye coordination. The first (in chronological order) prize is a small stuffed bee. Not satisfied with that, you decide to try to upgrade it, and soon you have a bee 2.0, a slightly larger version of the bee 1.0. After a while you're rewarded with the BFB 9000, a two-foot-tall stuffed bee (or is it a beeServer?). ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: bhso@fou.tr.statoil.no (Bjorn Halvor Solberg) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Wed, 21 Sep 1994 10:28:39 GMT ... your boss shows you a hand-written word which contains a long underscore, and you ask him wether that's one or two underscores. He just smiled and said "One.". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: allana@cs.tamu.edu (Allan C Anderson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 23 Sep 1994 19:26:51 GMT Last semester we made a roadtrip to Austin to celebrate our 21st birthdays. We ended up at the Yellow Rose, and while there I found myself placing a dollar in the garter of a woman wearing some latex outfit. While she bent down to allow me to do this, i commented "Nice LaTeX." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: rmclark@whale.st.usm.edu (Robert Mitchell Clark) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 23 Sep 1994 20:24:11 GMT when while watching _How To Steal A Million_ (A. hepburn & P. O'Toole) you first thought when the black and white gendarmes' vehicles appear outside of the museum is "I didn't know Gateway made cars!" ;) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: dragondm@netcom.com (The Dragon De Monsyne) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sat, 24 Sep 1994 10:27:39 GMT ...Someone asks you "Do you want me to turn the coffe pot off, or leave it on? " & you answer "Yes" without hesitation, of humorous intent. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: dpee1@mdw054.cc.monash.edu.au (Deeran Peethamparam) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 24 Sep 1994 14:34:05 GMT ... writing some code up on a whiteboard, you complete a long bracketed expression, and look to the first bracket to see if the cursor flashes on it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: gkb@aber.ac.uk (GARY BARNES) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 17 Oct 1994 14:09:27 +0100 YKYBHTLW you happen look at the instructions on your gas meter as to what to do in the event of a gas leak, and when you see that it says "Open windows" you think, "Oh smeg, do I have to?". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: rhialto@mbfys.kun.nl (Olaf Seibert) Subject: Re: YKYHBHTLW Date: Mon, 17 Oct 1994 14:38:57 GMT And you know you've been hacking too long when you see a personal ad in a newspaper with a telephone number (instead of a box # at the newspaper office) and think "Hm, must be another idiot who left their terminal logged in..." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ab401@freenet.carleton.ca (Paul Tomblin) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Mon, 17 Oct 1994 15:05:00 GMT I was in New york City for the first time this weekend, and I kept seeing orange road signs that said "ALT. RTE. BERRY AVE" (or some other street name) and my first thought was that somebody had newgrouped a new alt group that I'm not going to bother to addgroup. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: hw41652@is1e.vub.ac.be (Van Deun Dirk) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 18 Oct 1994 12:11:17 GMT This has probably been mentioned before a zillion times, but I never believed it. Alas, some days ago I was reading the credits of a film on television, and when I had missed something, for just a split second, I had an impulse to grab the remote control to scroll back. It can really happen -- no joke ! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor@esu6.auckland.ac.nz (Edouard Poor) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 19 Oct 1994 01:40:35 GMT ab401@freenet.carleton.ca (Paul Tomblin) writes: > >In a previous article, hw41652@vub.ac.be (Van Deun Dirk) said: >>believed it. Alas, some days ago I was reading the credits of a film on >>television, and when I had missed something, for just a split second, >>I had an impulse to grab the remote control to scroll back. >It's not *really* a YKYBHTLW unless you grab the mouse and start looking for >scroll bars. I was writing something a few seconds ago (you know, on paper...) and I had got as far as: define f(X) { X + X * X } set a_func f OR set a_func and I wanted to put the "{ X + X * X }" again. I moved my pen over to the start of the first "{ X + X * X }" and pressed down. At this point my brain must have noticed the reality quotient of the situation and I thought "Hmmm, if I drag the pen over the text here, it probably isn't going to put it into the buffer for me to paste it into the insertion point is it..." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mjg51721@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Michael James Gebis) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 22 Oct 1994 16:01:08 GMT YKYBHTLW you go into ChiChi's and say "I'd like a tek-mek combo." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: rutledge@enuxsa.eas.asu.edu (Shawn T. Rutledge) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sat, 22 Oct 1994 08:39:12 GMT Paul Tomblin (ab401@freenet.carleton.ca) wrote: : In a previous article, hw41652@vub.ac.be (Van Deun Dirk) said: : >This has probably been mentioned before a zillion times, but I never : >believed it. Alas, some days ago I was reading the credits of a film on : >television, and when I had missed something, for just a split second, : >I had an impulse to grab the remote control to scroll back. : It's not *really* a YKYBHTLW unless you grab the mouse and start looking for : scroll bars. Quite right. Heck I do that a lot - expect to be able to hit rewind when watching a live broadcast, that is. And I bet none of you guys have ever attempted to move the mouse so as to be able to use the cursor as a toothpick. I did that once! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Paul_Green@vos.stratus.com (Paul Green) Newsgroups: alt.os.multics,alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL when... Date: Mon, 17 Oct 1994 09:40:43 EDT A colleague and friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, told me this story long ago, in the days when octal notation was used to display the binary values of machine words: "I was driving along in my car when I looked down at the odometer and noticed that it said 77777.7 (all sevens). I turned to my wife and said, 'Hey look, the odometer is about to turn over!' She looked, and said, 'You're crazy!'." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Sun, 23 Oct 1994 11:12:53 +0000 From: usenet@demon.co.uk You know you've been hacking too long when... You look at every word that ends in the letter 'd' and wonder what kind of daemon it is... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: gkb@aber.ac.uk (GARY BARNES) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 24 Oct 1994 11:40:10 -0000 In article <782910773snz@axalotl.demon.co.uk>, Hugh Davies wrote: :You know you've been hacking too long when... : :You look at every word that ends in the letter 'd' and wonder what kind :of daemon it is... I've done that... I looked at a sign that said "ROAD CLOSED" and wondered what a closed does. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Andrew Bulhak (acbul1@penfold.cc.monash.edu) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTL (categorising things) Date: 21 Oct 1994 13:39:33 GMT You Know You've Been Hacking Too Long When..... .....you are about to feed your cat and you find yourself thinking half-consciously, "is this an AT&T cat or a Berkeley cat?" Happened to me... - acb [And I didn't even associate it with /bin/cat either.....] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: terra@diku.dk (Morten Welinder) Subject: Re: YKYBHWTLW Date: Fri, 21 Oct 1994 13:42:52 GMT You consider the situation where a house is being made ready for you to move in, but you're not quite ready when you have to move your furniture from your old home. This means you have to put the furniture in one room while you finish the other, then move the furniture... YKYHBHWTLW that reminds you of Sokoban. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: acbul1@penfold.cc.monash.edu.au (Andrew Bulhak) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTL (URLs generalised) Date: 24 Oct 1994 09:06:41 GMT You know you've been on the Net too long when... ... you write down your phone number as "phone://123-4567/Joe", or something similar. ... you want to program your VCR to record a programme and immediately think of something like "tv://2/1930/0100/The 7:30 Report". ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 20 Oct 1994 14:08:46 GMT From: James_Grimmelmann@horacemann.pvt.k12.ny.us (James Grimmelmann) Subject: Fwd: Re: YKYHBHTLW Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers In article , Irtegov Dmitry Valentinovich wrote: >You know you have been hacking too long when: >You think how to describe a half-awoke state of mind, >and the first idea is: `single-user mode'. After some momentary disorientation while suffering from a cold, recently, I characterized my the effects of my illness as "it really cuts into the frame rate on reality." If you try to turn your head rapidly while tired or sick, you'll realize what I mean. There's no support for smooth scolling anymore. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: wturner@acorn.co.uk (William Turner) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 25 Oct 1994 16:06:05 -0000 Well, last night, I got into my car (which was parked in a dark street, looked in the mirror, and thought 'Silly me, it won't work until the car is switched on...' Too much VDU exposure...... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: bernie@metapro.DIALix.oz.au (Bernd Felsche) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Wed, 26 Oct 1994 03:30:34 GMT In <782910773snz@axalotl.demon.co.uk> Huge@axalotl.demon.co.uk (Hugh Davies) writes: >You know you've been hacking too long when... >You look at every word that ends in the letter 'd' and wonder what kind >of daemon it is... What does "kind" do? Send out birthday, etc. greetings on your behalf? They'll never know if you've starved because you're trapped playing stereo-tetris. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Z3C79@ttacs3.ttu.edu (Forrest, Reid) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 27 Oct 1994 04:07:08 GMT I've been working on a compiler for a while... The other day I caught myself parsing and compiling my bank statements. *ERROR: negative balance on line 12. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: mrw9e@fulton.seas.Virginia.EDU (Michael Robert Williams) Subject: YKYBMTLW Date: Thu, 27 Oct 1994 04:45:39 GMT You Know You've Been Modeming Too Long When.... You pick up a phone to call a friend and try to dial ATDT first ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: rls3@Ra.MsState.Edu (Roger L Smith) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 1 Nov 1994 12:36:50 -0600 ...you're adding links in your homepage so that the user can email you directly, and think "Hey, I'll go ahead and link in my phone number so they can click on it to call me if they want to!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: cpu@chac.win.net (Kip Crosby) Date: Tue, 01 Nov 1994 18:11:09 GMT Subject: YKYBHTLW.... I was reconciling my checkbook and the two outstanding checks were 4026 4038 and my first thought was "There was an eighty-megabyte one too, why can't I remember the model number?" .... -- kc ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: valdis@black-ice.cc.vt.edu (Valdis Kletnieks) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 2 Nov 1994 18:19:03 GMT The other day, I saw a reference to the word 'moscow'. Due to a great misparse on my part, I was left wondering for several seconds whether the bovine was implemented using nmos or cmos... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ph3057@irix.bris.ac.uk (JAI. Holtom) Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Wed, 2 Nov 1994 19:37:45 GMT ...whilst discussing the most efficient way of maintaining contact over a modem link - and video stills are suggested to supplement the text, I then think 'what would be really nice is sound' and so suggest sending sampled speech accross the link..... If at first you don't see the YKYBHTL then you've been hacking too long as well :-) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: paulp@nic.cerf.net (Paul Phillips) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHWWWTLW... Date: 2 Nov 1994 23:01:05 GMT you look at your notes from the last half hour and realize that you have written "date" twice. -PSP, time impaired ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: michael@antioch.edu (Michael Smith) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHWWWTLW... Date: 3 Nov 1994 15:21:22 GMT Or when you write a paper and have to erase a bunch of

.....

's. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: j2ngo@acs.ryerson.ca (John Ngo - CNED/F94) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.... Date: 3 Nov 1994 11:21:51 GMT I was reading a line which read something like "...your dad is dead!" and thought it said "...your dad is dead..., NOT." I didn't it was funny though. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: samir@goofy.cc.utexas.edu (Samir Mahendra) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Y*Definitely*KYBHTLW... Date: 5 Dec 1994 17:18:48 -0600 I dreamt that I had selected a large part of a binary file with the mouse (in X) and had accidentally clicked the second mouse button in an xterm. As I tried desperately to kill the window, the sound of the bell from the occasional ^G grew louder and louder, and I woke up to the sound of my bedside alarm going off. It was really wierd. I need to spend less time in the X terminal lab. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Nate Hill (nhill@deviant.jolt.com) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: yet another YKYBHTLW Date: 5 Dec 1994 17:17:11 GMT Some JERK called me at three o'clock this morning and hung up on me. I stumbled around in a total daze, a thousand different random things went through my mind then it all went blank. When I started to figure out where I was, I thought "I must have caught an NMI and did a core-dump." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: jeffm@MicroUnity.com (Jeff Marr) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Tue, 6 Dec 1994 19:44:13 GMT Last night, as I was trying to hurry my children along to bed, I yelled, "OK, you've got two more minutes on the computer. That's one, oh. Two!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... From: jmmadiso@iupui.edu (jon madison) Date: 10 Dec 94 12:05:27 -0500 while taking my cs300 test, i accidentally wrote a line of my answer too high up on the piece of paper. i thought to myself, "that's okay, i'll just do ESC-shift-O a couple of times. duh! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: gsmith@piccolo.cco.caltech.edu (Geoffrey Smith) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 11 Dec 1994 14:47:35 GMT I was finishing off a 12-hour shift this morning, and was writing mail in the off-periods. I heard about the hassle people who are ahead of the class have to go through to take math in high school, and thought to myself, "What we really need to do is just shut down the whole damned system and reboot." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: irish@eskimo.com (Irish) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Tue, 13 Dec 1994 12:59:04 GMT ....After tinkering with X all day you look down and try to change the font on your keyboard. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: tieu@trance.helix.net (Steven Tieu) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYB... Date: 24 Dec 1994 00:00:38 GMT You know you've been using computers too long when.. you can put those sticker labels on diskettes straight everytime without even trying. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: gkb@aber.ac.uk (Gary Barnes) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 27 Dec 1994 14:52:51 -0000 You are listening to an audio CD which has one track you don't like on it, and you immediately think "I'll delete that one". ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jhtodd@ux5.cso.uiuc.edu (todd jeremy howard) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: 28 Dec 1994 03:07:20 GMT Last week my friend called from the hospital, after she'd had a minor operation. The connection was bad, and I heard her say she had an IP attached to her arm. "Oh, that's pretty neat. So when they want a blood sample they can just FTP it..." It took me a good ten seconds to figure out she really said IV. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: kmennie@chat.carleton.ca (K.M. Mennie) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 30 Dec 1994 07:33:51 GMT Gary Barnes (gkb@aber.ac.uk) wrote: > You are listening to an audio CD which has one track you don't > like on it, and you immediately think "I'll delete that one". You are watching television and hit on a channel you don't recognize, & think `I'll hit `=', which will show me the station identification/URL' ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ogre@netcom.com (Joe Rumsey) Subject: YKYBHTLW (was Re: Why hasn't Luke gotten Laid yet.) Date: Fri, 30 Dec 1994 13:37:52 GMT >In article , >Patz wrote: ># ># || ,.------;:~~:-. | "Until you stalk and over-run, you can't ^^^^^ ># ||/:.\`;;|||;:/;;:\ | devour anyone." - Hobbes the Tiger [etc.] YKYBHTLW you see the word "stalk" above and wonder what the difference is between s-talk, y-talk and talk. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: M.J.Jennings@amtp.cam.ac.uk (Michael Jennings) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 2 Jan 1995 10:21:29 GMT Like many hackers, I often work at the keyboard all night. Sometimes I will doze off at the keyboard. One of the things that will often wake me is the system beep from my workstation, which in this case is usually the xbiff indicating that I have received mail from someone. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I was on a bus in Bangkok. I was suffering from jet-lag, and was consequently dozing a bit on the bus. I heard a loud beep (actually somebody pushing the 'I want to get off at the next stop' button) which had roughly the same pitch as my system beep. I immediately woke up, and the thought 'I wonder who is sending me mail' went through my mind. Sad. Really sad. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: fail@oberon.pps.pgh.pa.us (John Fail) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 2 Jan 1995 20:42:59 GMT A friend of mine was saying another person had no personality; "Talking to him is like talking to an XT!". What scares me is this implies other computers do have personalities and they are fun to talk to. Uuuugh! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: paulp@nic.cerf.net (Paul Phillips) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: The Dining Philosophers Problem Date: 3 Jan 1995 10:11:04 GMT YKYBHTLW you're reading about a nice solution to the Dining Philosopher's problem, but the thought of a table covered with plates of spaghetti is so compelling that you have to get up and make yourself a meal at 2:15 AM. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: rsf@mother.idx.com (Rob Freundlich) Subject: YKYBUWTLW ... Date: Tue, 3 Jan 1995 08:58:47 UNDEFINED YKYBUsingWindozeTLW you're in Staples looking at electronic organizers and need some assistance, and there's no salesperson around, so you look around the counter for the F1 key. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Perry.Rovers@kub.nl (Perry Rovers) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Fri, 27 Jan 1995 19:40 met YKWYBHTLW: - you telnet to a machine in a city where some friends live and you think: I can tell them I'm coming over later (they have no account anywhere) - you open the fridge and think: someone forgot to update the milk On one day! I need a break. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jmarin@muikku.jmp.fi (Jukka Marin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 1 Feb 1995 18:50:25 +0200 simond@perception.co.nz (Simon Dawson) writes: > >When you insist on reading mail whilst going voice.. because >otherwise you're not doing anything productive with the time.. Heh.. Well, for 3 seconds, I thought of calling person A on the phone while talking to person B on the other phone (to save time, because I knew person B would talk for a long time). Then I realized I had only one speech output port... :-I ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: zcactch@cs.ucl.ac.uk (Tele Charalambous) Subject: YKYBHTLW.. Date: Wed, 1 Feb 1995 17:01:21 GMT YKYBHTLW: After typing in, compiling, debugging, and completing the 20,000 line project in C++ that was due in 1 hour, you wake up and it's all dream! Arrrggghhh!!! (This happened! But only 500 lines!) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: Tom Lichy (tal@dcs.ed.ac.uk) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Tue, 31 Jan 1995 08:12:12 GMT YKYBHTLW... - I saw a bottle of HP sauce in the kitchen and thought " Is that an new Hewlett-Packard product?" This definitely happened & I just couldn't believe it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: abc@warpfive.demon.co.uk (Andrew Clegg) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Tue, 31 Jan 1995 22:26:02 +0000 A friend of mine a few months ago was telling me about how a magazine he read was organizing a competiton for the most descriptive and poetic piece of short writing. One of the examples he cited talked about 'gliding swans slowly unzipping the surface of the lake'. I really really wish I hadn't instantly thought of uncompression. This is the same friend who sits next to me in Maths classes and still finds it incredible that the only piece of mental arithmetic I can do instantly is powers of two. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Paul.Kobar@Microserve.com (Paul Kobar) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.. Date: Thu, 2 Feb 1995 17:38:27 Reminds me of the time I spent alot of time debugging a Digital PDP-15. (The PDP-15 is an octal, 12-bit word architectue) After a looooong night, I was driving home in my new car and noticed the odometer read "3777", upon which I thought "Wow, here comes "4000". What a shock a mile later!!!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: abc@warpfive.demon.co.uk (Andrew Clegg) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW.. Date: Sun, 5 Feb 1995 15:11:25 +0000 YKYBHTLW you get confused between the left-hand side and the right-hand side of the screen. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: Sam Kington (926286ki@udcf.gla.ac.uk) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Fri, 3 Feb 1995 11:29:27 GMT You know you've been hacking too long when... I was going through some old tapes, trying to remember when I'd recorded the stuff on them, and thought: "Damn, why don't tapes have date stamps?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: root@wombat.hanse.de (Bernd "Bernie" Meyer) Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: Sat, 4 Feb 1995 01:28:52 GMT If only you knew HOW often I have been looking at some kind of non-electronic mess (let it be a book, my desk or the pile of fabric I call my wardrobe; Also applies for coins in a wallet etc) and just went ff thinking "well, I'll sort it, and then grep for the stuff I want". Another of those moments is when you look at the (real life) bulletin board at uni, and long for a "find -newer" (treating it as a directory) or a "diff"" (treating it as a single file). My only consolidation is that I will probably live to see most of these ideas implemented :-) Bernie "Also waiting for all my appliances to get ethernet" Meyer ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Nik.Clayton@brunel.ac.uk (Nik Clayton) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYHBRNTLW Date: 7 Feb 1995 20:02:56 -0000 You Know You Have Been Reading News Too Long When: You're reading the Spaf book on security, and it mentions the "Perl package by Larry Wall". You then spend the next 30 seconds flicking through the following pages to work out where Larry's response is. Hey, he greps everything else. PS: Hi Larry. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jmarin@muikku.jmp.fi (Jukka Marin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 9 Feb 1995 08:22:09 +0200 926286ki@udcf.gla.ac.uk (Sam Kington) writes: > >You know you've been hacking too long when... > >I was going through some old tapes, trying to remember when I'd recorded >the stuff on them, and thought: "Damn, why don't tapes have date >stamps?" Aaargh. The first time I read this, I thought you were talking about backup tapes and I thought, "What kind of a backup program does he use - no date stamps!". Never thought there were any other kind of tapes.. Cassettes? What are those? :-) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: corlepnd@aston.ac.uk (PND CORLETT) Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: Thu, 9 Feb 1995 17:33:24 GMT I was using my Amiga the other night, when I had an itch in my back. I then thought that the sharp-looking mouse pointer would be ideal to scratch it with. It looks as if RL has lost me as well... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: R!ch Subject: YKYBHTLW... Date: Mon, 13 Feb 1995 17:46:54 GMT You Know You've Been Hacking (6502 Assembler) Too Long When... This morning, on the way to work, I saw a car with the registration number PHK 123 X; my first thought was: "Push K? What sort of register is K?". I think I've been working on my 65C02 emulator too long... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: dehrig@mirac.unm.edu (Dan Ehrig) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBUsingWindozeTL (or too much) when: Date: 20 Feb 1995 18:48:29 GMT You're cramming for an exam at Denny's around 1:30 am and you keep finding that your brain has had CRC errors while downloading text. Stupid loud drunk people. -Dan (really wishes it were 12:30 yet so he could just take the damn thing) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: kenbrody@cloud9.net (Kenneth Brody) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW Date: 23 Feb 1995 15:43:54 GMT : The best one that I saw was a guy by the name of Derek when I was : working at BNR. He was running X-windows on his Sun and he was trying : to minimize some of his windows to clear up some desktop space. : One of the windows took three clicks before he realized that is was a : sticky note stuck to his screen. YKYBHTLW... You read the second paragraph and wonder why he couldn't close the note window, and then realize he meant the _paper_ sticky notes. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: jtihon@hawk.ece.ucdavis.edu (Jack Tihon) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 24 Feb 1995 00:21:21 GMT YKYB using TeX TLW... you take notes and {\bf bold} and {\it italicize } key words and YKYBHTLW you use '||' and '!' instead of "or" and "not" ... or worse yet you use '\/' and '~'. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ruhl@phoebe.cair.du.edu (Robert A. Uhl) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKTYBHTL Date: 3 Mar 1995 08:57:38 GMT ...when you read OxFam and think, 'm isn't a hex digit!' This just happened whilst reading P.J. O'Rourke's 'All the Trouble in the World.' ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW From: tony.lima@toadhall.com (Tony Lima) Date: Mon, 13 Mar 1995 21:02:00 -0700 YKYBHTLW ... "VENDOR TO INCREASE VAR BASE" read the headline in "Computer Reseller News." "Just what the world needs," I thought, "another damn database package." - Tony "who remembers VisiOn?" Lima ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ande0870@gold.tc.umn.edu (Greg "Torgo" Anderson) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 25 Jan 1996 19:27:39 -0600 ...you're waiting behind a Jeep to make a left turn, the Jeep's license plate number is "875 MHZ" and you think to yourself, "Wow, those Jeep people sure make some fast processors." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: slavins@entergrp.demon.co.uk (Simon Slavin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Wed, 24 Jan 1996 20:02:00 +0000 Ob-YKYBHTLW: you're sewing while watching TV and *just* managing to pay attention to the programme without sticking the pin in yourself when your daughter comes up to you and starts talking. You think: "New high-priority task is a cycle-sink, so suspend time-critical jobs until it's finished." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: gmiller@inca.co.nz (Gaven Miller) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: YKYBHTLW Date: 31 Jan 1996 17:59:17 GMT You Know You've Been Hacking Too Long When... You read a car mag and come across "500HP" and think "500 Hewlett-Packards" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: geert@nyx.xs4all.nl (Geertje van der Sterre) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: 12 Mar 1996 19:07:50 +0100 ..when you hear Kool & the gang on the radio: "Get your backup on the wall" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ckt@best.com (Chris Thomas) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: YKYBHTLW... Date: Thu, 14 Mar 1996 03:15:59 -0800 ... when you go to purchase the really cool new remix of _Tommy_ and you tell a friend, "I'm gonna go buy _Tommy_ Two Dot Zero." (worse: the friend understood...) -----------------------------------------------------------------------------