Ten HTML Tags You Need To Know
- Are you thinking of putting your business on the Web? If
so, this tag is absolutely essential. Simply use the money tag in place of the
tag and expect a torrent of profits. The relative obscurity of this
tag is probably the single greatest obstacle the Web faces in becoming an
economic force majeur. Use it liberally!
- The subliminal tag is
the Web-grifter's greatest asset. Specifying the type and value of subliminal
message you want to convey gives the Web coder a cheap and effective
form of mind control. This tag should be all the rage not just among adult
sites, but commercial sites in general. Sadly, the subliminal tag has not
seen an effective adoption rate so far. My personal favorite use for the
- On the
surface, the unattributed iglatinpay tag is a little gimmicky. It merely
takes whatever text is contained within and converts it to pig Latin.
However, the ability to specify an ISO-character set and encryption types
ranging from ROT13 to 128-bit NSA makes the iglatinpay tag an indispensable
tool for data thieves, pornographers, and anyone else who has a vested
interest in protecting dubiously legal information. Urrayhay orfay iglatinpay!
- This is actually an Easter-egg tag
found in Netscape Navigator 4.0. Placing this tag on your page invokes an
animated Marc Andreessen (in white face-paint, no less!) doing his best
Marcel Marceau imitation. Valid types include "walk against the wind,"
"caught in a box," "sitting and reading," "coding and drinking Jolt," and
"HappyFace 1995/SadFace 1998."
- When Microsoft learned of the Navigator
mime tag Easter egg, it included the dance tag in Internet Explorer 4.0. This
tag instantiates a 3D ActiveX control of Bill Gates shaking his booty to a
variety of different popular dance moves. What this tag lacks in verbal
punning, it makes up for in scope. The Webmonkeys have tried everything
from "Foxtrot" to "Funky Chicken," "Moonwalk," "Smurf," and "Macarena." In
fact, every dance move we could think of seemed to be included. Rumor
has it that IE 4.0's large footprint is due mostly to the ActiveBill dance
- Use this tag to demarcate content that's pretty
kinky - the kind you won't take home to mother, content that will never let
your spirits down, once you get it off the streets. Owww.
- Use this tag to dictate how your code
will degrade from browser to browser and platform to platform. A little-known
fact is that this tag is instantiated on every Web page today, although it's
not viewable in the code unless specified by the author. Unfortunately, due
to errors or competitive practices in both Explorer and Navigator, the
default setting for the degrade tag is pain-in-the-ass. You should specify a
degrade type of graceful, so your HTML will work nicely across all browsers
- Few people actually realize this, but when a Web
surfer encounters a page utilizing the you're it tag, he or she actually
becomes "it," and remains "it" until building a page using the you're it tag or
kicking Tim Berners-Lee hard in the shins. This tag does have some known
bugs - cooties - associated with it, so be forewarned. Cooties. Ewww. Gross.
- the XML tag. Duh.
- Use this tag to separate content that is patently false or
misleading from the rest of your Web page. This is especially useful when
you intend to dupe your readership into believing a set of facts that simply
aren't true, and then expose the truth at a later date. "The main reason for
this letter is to convince you that this system is honest, lawful, extremely
profitable, and is a way to get a large amount of money in a short time."