Important update from Microsoft regarding Windows

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2000 NEW
JERSEY EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside New Jersey. If
you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.

The New Jersey edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
It reads: "WINDAS 2000," with a background picture of a Turnpike toll
plaza.  When you start the program, instead of the usual "harpy, stringy" 
music, you hear the theme from the Godfather. It is also shipped with a
Sopranos screen saver.

Please also note:
* The Recycle Bin is labeled "Bayonne".
* My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computer".
* The Inbox is referred to as "The Trunk".
* Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked Out" or "Rubbed Out".
* Dial up Networking is called "The Bar".
* Control Panel is known as the "The Bosses".
* Performing an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancing the family
business" and will actually maximize the program instead of shutting 
it down.
* Hard Drive is referred to as "287 Rush Hour".
* Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe this!"
pops up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN NEW JERSEY EDITION:
OK....................Sure ting
Cancel................Fugetaboutit
Reset.................Start Ova
Yes...................Yeah
No....................Nah
Find..................Put a contract out on
Browse................Get a looksee
Back..................U turn
Help..................(Help ain't available - yous don't need no stinking help)
Stop..................Knock it off
Start.................Move it!
Settings..............Here's the Rules

Also note that any voice recognition software run on the NEW JERSEY EDITION
platform does not recognize the letter "r."

Some programs and other accessories that are exclusive to WINDAS 2000:
Typa................A word processing program
Printa..............Printer
Calculata...........Calculator
Solitaya............Seven Card Stud

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of
the NEW JERSEY EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement
version.

Yous got a problem wit dat?