A List of Things Men Want. By Mark Patinkin, Scripps Howard News Service. The debate is still continuing over Freud's famous question - the one about what women want. "G" magazine even has a cover story about it this month. It's time, I think, that someone answered the question for men: Men want to pick up the check. We don't want to be stuck in the middle seat on an airplane. We want a fog-proof mirror on our shower so we can shave there. Men want women to agree to wear our sport-jackets when the say they're cold during an evening stroll. We offer all the time, but they never accept. We want to be our own bosses. And still be able to run a mile in under seven minutes. Men don't want to have to take women's clothes to the cleaners and give specific instructions about things like pleats. We do want a robe. And a good pair of hiking boots. Men want to be able to sneak up on a kid trying to rip off our car tape deck with his ankle hanging out the open door just at the point where it closes. One day a week, we don't want to shave. Men want to be able to get both ends of our tie perfect on the first try. Even if we're committed to our company, we want an unsolicited job offer once every few years. We want to be able to split a fireplace log on the first try. We don't want to have to go through that examination where doctors first tell us to cough. Men want to be able to stop to help a stranded motorist, lift the car's hood, fiddle with a wire to two and make it work. Men don't want to have to make the bed. We want a rolltop desk. Men want to be able to parallel park correctly on the first try. We don't want to have to read Vogue every time we get our hair cut, which is the only option these days since salons are all unisex. Men want to be asked to open jars whose tops are sealed on too tight. We want a home computer. With internet access. Men want the Supreme Court to rule metal baseball bats unconstitutional. We want a big, comfortable chair in the living room that no one sits in but us. Men want to be able to wear suspenders, but don't because we're convinced everyone will think we're being pretentious. In winter, we want to be able to maneuver our car up an uphill street while everyone else is spinning their tires. We want a dog that will chase sticks thrown into the surf. We don't want to be bothered when we are reading the paper on a Sunday morning. When going somewhere with a woman, men want to drive. Now that we're no longer able to defend our families from mammoths or barbarians, driving is one of few things we have left. Men want to be at least six feet tall. We don't want a toy poodle. Men want someone to knit us a sweater. We don't want to be called "a cutey." Rugged, sure. Tough, anytime. But never, "a cutey." We want to be asked about what we do for a living. Once a week, we want to shut down for the night and eat Chinese food on the couch while watching television. We want a leather flight jacket. Men want a study with a fireplace in it. We want people we're with to begin sentences with, "What do you think about...?" We don't want our hair permed. Men don't want to be asked by the woman we're with to put away the washed dishes, but we do want her to ask us to get things out of the cupboard that are too high for her to reach. We want a convertible. Preferably one that will go 0 to 60 in seven seconds. Men want an equalizer on our car stereo. We want a custom-made suit. And a faded blue-jean jacket. We want to be with someone who will let us have three out of the five shrimp in a shrimp cocktail. And bring us a cup of coffee in the morning.