RED-NECK LOVE POEM

   Collards is green,
   my dog's name is Blue
   and I'm so lucky
   to have a sweet thayng like you.

   Yore hair is like cornsilk
   a-flapping in the breeze.
   Softer than Blue's
   and without all them fleas.

   You move like the bass,
   which excite me in May.
   You ain't got no scales
   but I luv you anyway.

   Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
   jist a-fry'n in the pan.
   Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
   right out of the can.

   You have some'a yore teeth,
   for which I am proud;
   I hold my head high
   when we're in a crowd.

   On special occasions,
   when you shave under yore arms,
   well, I'm in hawg heaven,
   and awed by yore charms.

   Still them fellers at work,
   They all want to know,
   what I did to deserve
   such a purdy, young doe.

   Like a good roll of duct tape
   yo're there fer yore man,
   to patch up life's troubles
   and fix what you can.

   Yo're as cute as a junebug
   a-buzzin' overhead.
   You ain't mean like those far ants
   I found in my bed.

   Cut from the best cloth
   like a plaid flannel shirt,
   you spark up my life
   more than a fresh load of dirt .

   When you hold me real tight
   like a padded gunrack,
   my life is complete;
   Ain't nuttin' I lack.

   Yore complexion, it's perfection,
   like the best vinyl sidin'.
   despite all the years,
   yore age, it keeps hidin'.

   Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
   with a RC cold drank,
   we go together
   like a skunk goes with stank.

   Some men, they buy chocolate
   for Valentine's Day;
   They git it at Wal-Mart,
   it's romantic that way.

   Some men git roses
   on that special day
   from the cooler at Kroger.
   "That's impressive," I say.

   Some men buy fine diamonds
   from a flea market booth.
   "Diamonds are forever,"
   they explain, suave and couth.

   But for this man, honey,
   these won't do.
   Cause yor'e too special,
   you sweet thang you.

   I got you a gift,
   without taste nor odor,
   more useful than diamonds...
   IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

Luv,
from yor romeo